You see

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You see when life hurts a lot
You see when I grieve
Grieving over the time that has been, and that cannot come back

When I have no strength and cannot fight anymore, you carry me
That I must believe

You see when what once gave meaning and joy, does not do so anymore
What was worth spending time on before, has lost its shine

You see the pain, the pain of life
You see how the heart bursts of longing
Longing for you and for love

You see when tears come
You see when tears press on and begins flowing
You see longings, loss and pain

You see when I need to breathe
You see when something must die
You see, I am not alone

You see the way I and we should walk
You see where we started and you see where it leads

You see my face, my eyes, my soul
You see me in my innermost
You see my heart

You see when I try to explain, and others do not understand the way I walk
You see when I want to convince, but cannot

You see what no one else sees
You see the depths, you see my soul
You see the soul that wants to break boundaries and breathe in freedom

You see when life needs more nourishment through friendship, fellowship and shared thoughts and ideas

You see when one wants what is experienced as meaningful
And hopes the other can find more joy in some of it

You see when what is for freedom and peace for one, creates fear in the other one
You see the one who thinks one has got something, and the other who is afraid of losing something

To find something one must be able to lose something or embrace and at the same time include

You see it hurts when the other says one cannot follow you on the way
You see when I think I have to go alone

You see the hearts that want what’s good for others and themselves
You see the hearts in their every thing

You see and love what and who you see
Face to face you love
You see us as we are
Still you love us

You see me when I’m about to fall asleep
When another day is over and a new day soon will be welcomed

You see, so that it brings light to our hearts and souls
Your gaze can warm us when love has little room

You see everything
You see it as it is
That’s just how it is
Your gaze never leaves me

Times of Transformation

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Butterfly

Keeping a journal can be a good thing, both as a helpful tool in your own processes and also as words and sentences to reread later, when you have moved on, and understand your writing from a new and different perspective.

In rereading my own journals I some times find nuggets of wisdom and also description of a life I later see that I have grown through.

In particularly difficult times when the road ahead is very unclear, when the struggle in a day is almost to hard to bear, that’s when I become poetic. I guess it’s because poetic language is open, there is more of of imagination and feelings than clarity of mind.

Later, in rereading some of these more poetic reflections and wanderings, I find glimpses of poems, words and sentences that now speak to me in another, deeper and also clearer way. What I earlier only got in glimpses and wrote in imaginative and poetic language, I am now more able to describe in precise prose.

The reason it’s a different experience looking back and reread old words and poems journaled in dark times, is because life now tells me I made it through. What a blessing that is, when you see that the dark times, no matter how dark they were, brought forth new light in your life! This is because the difficult days were times of transformation.

The next few poems and posts that I will share in the days to come, will be some glimpses from some of these darker times. I share them in the hope they may speak to your heart as well, since in being human we often share the same or similar experience.

It would warm my heart if you would share at times which words express something you are going through or have experienced. I would love to hear from some of my readers in the days to come. And please, if there is something in particular you find to your liking, please share the post with some of your friends. I hope the future posts will be small blessings to some people out there, in the big and often lonely world we all live in. Be blessed.

In order to experience the joy

you need to accept the sadness

In order to be filled you need

to know you are empty

Divine Blindness

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Open Eyes

Is it not true? That there is a season for everything as the Old Book tells us? Everything is continually changing and transforming. Life is flowing in dynamical ways. And you and I and we get to partake in this eternal flow of life. It is tricky, it is sad, it is so full of grief, yet so full of longing, joy, beauty and creativity.

The winter time, in real life and spiritually too, can be a dark and cold time, a time of hiding in the quietness. Yet also, this time of coldness and dying, is a preparation, a silent growing of new lifeflow. There can be great pain in the dying which is part of a new creation.

I love the story of the prodigal son in the New Testament, particularly the phrase, ‘then he came to himself’. Dying and renewal is painful, but also a transformation into new ways of seeing. This deep dive into dark mystery can create a new sense of aliveness and a deeper joy.

But again, the grief, the pain can be very dark. It can feel like all hope is lost. You feel lost at sea, with no shore in sight. I am reminded by Paul’s blindness after the bright revelation of Jesus on the road to Damascus. He could not see for several days. But there was a divine working taking place deep within him. This was not a time for his ordinary senses, only a time for transformational blindness.

Somewhere in the prophet book of Isaiah it is said that God will tell us secrets in the dark times. Maybe in days of darkness we are divinely blinded? You may feel like you shut down for a time, but is it only for change and renewal to take hold?

Does this make sense to you? Do you believe in change and transformation? Can you trust that along with the pain there is also a rebirth of new life? Could it be that when our eyes eventually are opened we are in for a great surprise?

Blessings to you!

Dove Above

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girl-gb697a2789_1920

The Dove above

Is there to show

He is The Beloved One

This Dove is Love

*

The Dove above

Is there to let you know

You are the beloved

This Dove is Love

*

The Dove above

Is there to say when one goes

One will be with the Beloved

This Dove is Love

*

The Dove above

Is there to help us see

Humanity is one in the Beloved

This Dove above

Is Love

I pray

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I pray to love deeper
I pray Love will grow wider
I pray to know real love for all
In truth, this is my true desire
This I know

Circles of Love

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Widening Circles 2

As my heart opens
In widening circles
I see more
The beauty of creation

In ever widening circles
My soul senses
The flame
Of a lovingkindness

It is befriending me
In widening circles
This is the deepest love
Yet I hunger for more

In ever widening circles
Forever and ever
This Love is

For all

Inspired by Rilke

Freefall

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Freefall

 

What can you hold on to

when you are shaking inside?

What can you hold on to

when your heart is trembling?

The only thing you long for

is to be received when

you fall…

Hope – What if…

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Hope displayed by Anemone flowers

What if I tell you there is hope, there is always hope? Would you blame me for just conveying the biggest cliché? The all-time-high lie that we tell people when they’re suffering and can’t find their way through the wilderness of sorrow? But what if, what if it is true?

The worrying monkey-mind often keeps repeating these terrible and fear inspiring “what ifs”. What if this is what he thinks of me? What if I am going to die from an awful disease? What if the plane falls down? What if I won’t pass this exam? What if I am going to loose my job? What if I can’t find help for my problem? What if there is no goodness in this world? What if, what if, what if….constantly repeating.

Another cliché is, yes, I have been there too. Like that’s very comforting in the middle of the deepest pain? And maybe it’s just something people say anyway to give others some false comfort, or even in order to turn the focus on themselves when the other person is the one truly suffering? But again, what if it’s true?

What if there is hope? What if I have been there? What if I’ve been to this really dark place where I had no hope of returning to the living? Would you believe me if I told you about it? Would it be an important message to you if you are the one now that has gone all dark?

I am telling you, whispering softly and shouting loudly again, THERE IS HOPE!! Yes, I’ve been there, and yes, I have returned, even though I didn’t think it was possible. I gave up everything, but something brought me deeply back to life. Back to colors and back to the joy of living.

Now I am sensing this energy breaking barriers within, and this river flowing again from within to without. Now I want to express myself and share the good news! If you will listen, dear, beloved, of God. There is hope! There is I way through! I know some of you don’t think so. I did too. But was surprised by the help I found. Reach out, and next maybe to your complete surprise, you’ll find new life from within and all around.

Blessings and new light to you, as you journey true your deep pain and darkness. There will be light again! There is hope! Always!

PS! Reading other posts on this blog, may partly help you find your way. This blog has followed me through later life, and what I share here is mostly from my own experience or inner longing.

Love Last

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Love last

Earlier I have written posts called Love First and Love Now. Now I have to write a post called Love Last. This is probably for some the most controversial of the three posts, since it communicates an inclusive view on the afterlife and eternity. So if you want to hold on to your traditional view of Heaven and Hell, or if you would like not to be provoked, read no further. And for the rest, keep your minds and hearts open.

We have heard that the Christian message is the Gospel, also called the Good News. Now in my later years after going through valleys of darkness, the thinking, reading, listening and rethinking has brought me out into an open landscape of, in my view, truly good news.

Karl Forehand, a friend of mine and an author of several books, and among them the book Apparent Faith, asks the question, can God’s love be any less than the parent’s love for his child? The point is that a parent would do anything for his/her child and never give them up or leave them for good. Why would God leave people for good and let them go to a place called hell? A parent would never do that. Why our Creator?

Let’s get things out of the way, I do not believe in hell as a place in the afterlife anymore. I believe there are enough hellish experiences and suffering in people’s lives and in our world. Going to hell for an eternity (eternity!!) makes no sense. And heaven for just a few chosen faithful people, is that truly heaven Off course both Karl and I are only trying to find answers that make sense, and off course we do not have “God’s mind” and understanding. So we can’t claim we get it right 100 percent. But some would not even want to work with the question, and some would rather hide behind the biblical phrase, “God works in mysterious ways”.

I already mentioned Apparent Faith by Karl Forehand. Another good read is Love Wins by Rob Bell. I think Rob has the same message in Love Wins, that I try to communicate in this post, Love Last. I would also say, for the Gospel to be truly good news, it must be good news for all, it must be all inclusive. Love must win in the end. I do think Richard Rohr’s book The Universal Christ also speaks about this.

I say, we are created by love first, to live our lives in love now, and early (for some too early) or late we will find rest in eternal love at last! People and the Bible talk about the good road to be a small road. But what if this small road actually is very wide, if we only had a change of heart and understanding? I will not go into details here in this small text, but also remind us all, of the words of Jesus, “In my Father’s house there are many rooms”.

Off course not everyone chooses the path of love in this earthly life. There are many reasons and explanations for that. And there’s only one Judge. Yet, can you imagine being judged by the Lover of Souls?

If there’s any truth to going to a spiritual reality in the afterlife and for an eternity, I do think people also somehow choses their direction after death. And for those now living a life in pain, of evil and destruction, why would they not choose or search for love and restoration in the spiritual realm? Would a God of Love really close the door for all eternity? Sorry, if this makes you think, I am lost and far gone. I feel safe that I am not, and that’s enough for me.

I believe we are eternal souls and the bodies are our huts. Our deepest selves are also the Spirit of Love and of God. This Spirit will, at least when it freely can, and when it is released from our decaying bodies, travel back to the Loving Source it came from.

Love first, Love now, Love last, I do believe this is for all of us. Yes, it is all inclusive! Yes, the Bible even talks about a new heaven and a new earth, a great recreation. So salvation is not only for you and me, but for all, even for the whole Earth and the whole of creation. The Colossians talks about everything (every single thing!) coming together in Christ! This for me, is the good news. This gives me hope. This casts out fear of living and fear of death. It is true freedom! I truly believe in a loving Creator or even Creational Energy loving us all. This love is as the Bible talks about, strong enough for a earthly life, but also even stronger than death.

Last I would add that coming to these thoughts and conclusions in such a way that I can see this as the Truth I believe in, has not been an easy road. Still, I do believe it is a road from fear to love. It also is a road into freedom and the joy of living now and with a real hope for the future. It’s like the the prodigal son coming to his senses and knowing he had always belonged to this his Loving Father. It is the greatest news for all! All you truly need is love, and love is first, and it is now and yes, it even is the last there is and will forever be!

Blessings!

Union

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rivers to river again

Today I am thinking about the beautiful word ‘union’. For me this word has a deep meaning. First and foremost I have my whole life longed for a union with God and truth. I do believe this longing for union with the Divine, is in the heart of every man, whether we acknowledge it or not. I also believe we all, regardless of faith or beliefs, experience smaller and greater unions throughout life. In my mind I picture union being a giving and sharing of love.

A giving and sharing of love is not dependent on wisdom or faith. The only prerequisite is being human and being able to be vulnerable and open at times. If we are to experience union with something or someone, there has to be an openness towards the experience. Also an openness and acceptance towards ourselves first and then others second.

Since union and loving union is about giving we need to know what we give. In order to give from ourselves, we need to know something true about ourselves, accept ourselves and love aspects of ourselves.

Union is beautiful, it is a giving and sharing of love, a giving and receiving between at least two persons or a person and beauty of some kind. Union is seeing your own beauty so clearly that you enjoy sharing it with someone or something other beautiful. Again, this is dependent on acceptance and the gift of vulnerability.

A good friendship is an example of an union. The closest friendship and deepest union, can only develop through openness and daring to be vulnerable. A deep friendship between humans, or humans and animals for that matter, can be a symbol of the deepest union man can experience in life, and eventually in death, the union with God, the All-loving One.

Looking at the image above makes me think of people and different aspects of life as smaller or bigger rivers. The rivers are always flowing, always alive, either wildly or softly, but always moving. Since rivers are about movement, it is always a continual giving of life. All the smaller rivers can join the bigger river or lake and then become rivers again, before they are back again. All are part of this union, this never-ending circle of beautiful life.

Maybe you are not with me on this whole vision, but please follow me on this. You are a river of beautiful and vulnerable love moving towards others and other things, desiring acceptance and union. And do remember, in order to unite, we must love and accept ourselves. Only then can you give yourself and receive the other in true union. Now, are you ready for a reunion!?

Love Now

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Ireland Love

Love was First

Love is Now

It is what you long for

To be

Aflame with Love

#

Love is Eternal

Eternal Is Now

All around

Without

And within

#

No Barriers

No Barricades

No Borders

Love is

All there truly Is

#

Love

Deepest Desire

Deepest Well

Everlasting

Everflowing

#

Infinite Love

Embrace it

Be embraced by it

Surrounded

Fills every Crack

#

No need to Lack

Open Hearts

Open Souls

For the Spirit of

True Love

Love First

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Field of flowers

You have probably heard it said, you are loved through Christ. Since Jesus paid the price you may walk free. You say, amen hallelujah, thank God for His love and sacrifice. God hates sin, but now, by His grace and because of Jesus on the cross, He can now look at me, accept me and love me. All this because Jesus became the perfect offering. When God looks at me, He sees the Lamb of God. God loves you in and through Christ. Surprisingly I am asking you if this message can in fact be harmful? How can this message really limit your self love, self respect and then your love for your neighbour? When the message is that God can’t love you if it wasn’t for Christ, there may a problem.

Yet, the Bible also tells us to love God and man, in the same way we love ourselves. But do you really, truly love yourself? Self love is a bit of a taboo, and often looked upon as egotistical. But what if it is crucial before all the other fruits of the Spirit to grow is that you begin with love, love for self, love for God. Can you see that if God can look at you only through Christ, he is not looking at you at all!? And how can you love yourself alone, if God needs Jesus to do so? But what if Love came first? Love for creation, and Love for you, since you are a unique part of it?

Genesis explains that God created life and everything. He breathed His very Spirit into us through our nostrils. This is how you became alive, God breathed is Spirit of Life and Love into you. Now this Spirit flows from your within. That’s the Good News! God loves you from within!! You have this River of Love within you!

Remember, Genesis also tells us that God’s creation was good, and even when man was created God said it was very good. Can you say that to yourself, I am very good!? Can you truly say that? Isn’t that what God is saying? Humans are the greatest in my creation, it is the crown? Is that how you look upon yourself, God’s crown? If God was asked, show me what you are most proud of and fond of, when it comes to your artistry, your creation, what would the Divine say? Wouldn’t He point His finger in your and other people’s direction and say, YOU!?

God loves you, He, She, the Trinity, They love you! In 2.Peter it even says that we are partakers in the Divine Nature! How can that be? These news, are almost too good to be true! And isn’t that the surprise of grace, it is almost too good to be true? But that is if we think in our human way. That God loves us and looks upon us as very good, is God’s true perspective. Love always comes first! But wait, you say, you are only telling half truths, your missing the greater picture. You, say, man is sinful, and every evil desire lurks within man. God hates sin, but loves sinners/humans.

I ask you, does God only love what is perfect? And does God need someone perfect to die, to love us? Whatever God did, He did it because He already loved us, right? Still, maybe we are the ones that need this scapegoat? Do we need someone to put the blame on, so we don’t have to face our own sin and darkness? I am not saying man is all light. I know that for sure, just by looking into my own heart. But I am saying we need to get the start right, for you, for me, for our children, for everyone.

God loves mankind, He LOVES you and He loves His creation. It is His pride! With this Love He breathed Life into your very within, before you were sent into this world to live your unique life, the best way you can.

I ask you to sit for a few moments in silence. Ask yourself, do I love myself, in the same way God loves me, His crown, His masterpiece? Then let yourself sink into His love, a Love that embraces you in your completeness (goodness and badness), in order to free you into true self love and love for others.

It is there for you, the River within, the River of Love.

Love first, always…

Are you a listener and likes to be read to – go here to find an audioversion of this text:

Love First audiofile

Note: If you are interested in the topic of scapegoating books by René Girard may be of interest. Poems of Rainier Rilke are also great, and even his book “Letters to a young poet”. Last, but not the least, I would recommend reading Richard Rohr’s books, i.e. Fallling Upward and Immortal Diamond. Even though I don’t quote any of these authors directly, I think I am indebted to them.

Wounds

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“Everybody hurts” is a well-known and popular song by REM. I guess one reason is that it resonates with most people one way or the other. We all hurt, we all have been hurt, and we also hurt other people. It is a circle where many spend much of their time and life.

We all need to experience love. And the less attention and love we were shown in our early days, the more we crave it when we’re older. No wonder the Christian focus on the Father heart of God is very popular both in preaching and reading. Most of us have been wounded by our parents slightly or deeply. And I guess very often the father is most lacking in love and acceptance. This partly because the feminine and nurturing side of men has been less embraced and therefore less developed. It’s not only the women who have suffered in a patriarchal society.

But okey, we are all wounded, so what can we do about it? I believe we need more love, acceptance and healing. If we open our eyes and realise how wound driven we are in our actions, it is possible to experience a deeper satisfaction, not only through the love of a Higher Father, but through the experience of self love. Self love has a bad reputation, and sadly, because it quiet different from self worship.

It is therefore paramount that our suffering and craving, leads us on a road through our blindness. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, especially when what we’re looking for is the love we lacked in our childhood.

Before we can bring the deepest and purest love and healing to others we often need to love and heal ourselves. This process consists of developing an acceptance and love for ourselves, and at the same time a realization that we are deeply loved by the Love that gave us life.

This healing I am pointing too, has no easy route. But a good way to start is to take a deep look at your wounds. Not to fall into the wounds and drown, but sense your wounds enough for you to be able to both grieve, forgive and accept them. This involves forgiving others, but very often also, since you may be quite grown up when you truly see this, it also includes forgiving yourself. I guess many we will be in this process for much of their lives, if they want to grow in love. Still, at first, it’s important to start, to embrace more and more of the pain, so you may grow through so much of it that you become free enough to be of more help to others, instead of clinging to people and things for love and acceptance. You may even become a much needed wounded healer as Henri Nouwen wisely wrote about, and the love grown out of wounds eventually becomes a gift to this often hurting world.

We need to come to our senses and to ourselves, as the prodigal son also had to do, in order to direct his life towards the great Source of Love again. And like this lost son, we often get lost in craving love from things and people, that cannot give us what we now must give ourselves, and what we also must receive from our Mother, Father God. A Divine presence that waits for and even chases us from around and from the deepest parts of our souls.

Ask yourself today, what drives your actions the most today? Is it the lack of contentment and a need for lost love, or have you walked the valley of grief and forgiveness, and come out of it, with a new or renewed selflove? At least, stop blaming and pulling yourself down. What you have not received, you cannot pass on. Those wise words I leave you with, and at last an important reminder: You are loved ❤️

Now and Forever

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Open my heart wide, so I may see
Open my heart wide, so I may let go
Open my heart wide, so I may know
You, my Lover and Love

Help me bow down deeply, so I may drink
Help me stretch far, so I may pluck
Help me sit down quietly, so I may dine
Last, help me walk gently, so I may bless
With You, my Lover and Love

Now and forever

Overflowed by Life

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At the beach yesterday I witnessed the image above of stones and overflowing waters. Tumultuous waves were overcoming solid ground. Rohr (Falling Upwards, great book!) speaks and talks about a lever to stand. The lever is needed at different times in our lives. Some times outer pressure or inner turmoil are overwhelming. It feels like drowning.

I’ve been through times like the mentioned above on several occasions. Last not so long ago. I lost my zest for life and had no drive or motivation. It felt like I was overcome and lost, as in my last poem here, “I gave up and gave in”.

If you have read the whole poem though you have realized I have yet to draw my last breath, and gracefully things ended on a good note. I am meant to live and there’s still meaning and renewed meaning to be found in life, mine included. But for a long time it felt like the image above. Out of control, with no escape in going through the pain and darkness. Part of the reason for my troubles were great grief in my life, since I have slowly been losing my mother to early dementia. There has been other things too, among those an earnest search for truth and the deep desire for love and union with Spirit.

So if you’re experiencing grief and outer and/or more inner turmoil, know that I have been there. Hell is not a place in a God-willed afterlife. God’s love is for all, it upholds us all, whether we recognize it or not. Hell is also at times circumstances here on Earth, whether it is outer war and suffering, or inner turmoil and loneliness deep within. Fortunately, at the same time, heaven, God, God’s kingdom are also here on Earth, all around us and deep within each and everyone. This includes you, no exceptions. I also do believe with Rob Bell, that Love Wins (book recommended!). If that makes me an universialist, I am guilty of the “heresy”.

The Spirit of Christ lives within us and our bodies groan for freedom and union for eternity. Happily, this is something to be embraced and experienced in the now, if only in glimpses. Can you sense your inner Spirit calling you? Are you overwhelmed by the life you have lived so far? Maybe what we need when there is no solid ground to be found, is a surrender to the great vast Ocean? At least a surrender to the River within that Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman.

Now I dream of new projects and a future for contemplation in my country and across the globe. I connect with what Rahner supposedly has said, that the future Christian is a mystic. I truly believe that. I want to be among them. I do think more and more people will see and find the path of contemplation. Nothing else than contemplating the mystery of the Divine and beholding and experiencing its beauty can satisfy our hunger. Would you like to join me on this often messy but also blessed journey?

Blessings on your day and your further travel – never forget you truly are the beloved of the Great Lover! Even more, when darkness leaves you blinded.

Risen

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Forgotten my way
Pressured from all sides
No escape this time

Had to die again
Die from old self
Shed my skin

Agonizing
Vulnerable
Terror

Gave up
Gave in
Lost and rotting

Slowly woke
Lost Light found
Eyes opened

Now
One
I Am

Belief/Faith?

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In the English language, there is a distinction made between belief and faith, belief in a particular doctrine or deeper trust. We probably need both, but I find more rest and wider horizons in trust. Then my life is less limited to what I believe, and more a liberating flow of life that my heart opens and surrenders to. This is a trust in a Creative Love first, creation and people second.

Truth

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Teknologi, Hender, Avtalen, Greit, Skjermen

A friend once said to me, “all you need is to wonder”. I do believe it is important to wonder about life, be curious and to ask questions. As I grow older, I sometimes think I know less and less. At the same time, I believe in what Jesus said, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. But again, what is really true or really the truth? Maybe the a truth is that there is so much we will not know on this side of eternity, that by accepting that as true, this will lead to us the experience of greater freedom in life?

Still, I do believe we need silence and contemplation in our lives in order to find truth, in ourselves, in our relations and experiences. So many of us are running from one thing to another. So many of us spend hours upon hours in front of screens, whether it is the computer screen, mobile or tv. It is so easy to become trapped and addicted, if we don’t make the extra effort to choose wisely how we spend our time.

A teacher once said that young people today can’t concentrate for longer than the duration of a Tik-Tok-video. This may be an extreme statement, but it is also partly true. We probably have to accept that the world has become a lot more digital, and of course digital tools can be helpful, and they have also helped us especially in these Corona times. But I do believe we are in danger of partly losing our souls and becoming more superficial if we don’t take the time just BEING without too many distractions, and if we don’t prioritize to spend time in silence and contemplation.

To be continued…

Contemplating Pentecost

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Indwelling Spirit

I love You

You are my Creator

Giver of life and breath

Creator of my spirit

Giver of Spirit

Great Mystery

You dwell in the ground of my being

In my innermost heart

Your Spirit meets my spirit

They become one

Great Marvel

This union

Open my inner vision

So I can see

#Rest

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Poem slightly inspired by the story of the Mount of Transfiguration.

Rest

Early morning
Got up to rest
Away from the stress
Alone with myself

Pressure from all sides
Heaviness within
Tiredness in face
Sorrow in heart

Would rather escape
This pain arising
Too much to handle
Too much to care

Sipping my coffe
Clearing my mind
Still ready to give up
No desire to drink this cup

Alone with The Alone
Here I am again
Forgotten my way
Yet the I Am is here

Trust in spite of pain
When death feels like freedom
That Love soon again
Will shine like the Son

 

Please note: This poem is not an encouragement to give up on life, rather an anknowledgment of how painful and stressful life can be. The poem also communicates the belief in love and hope in the life we are living. If you are experiencing very difficult times please reach out to someone you can trust and/or ask for professional help. Remember, there is always a way through so we must and can keep living our lives ❤️

 

 

 

A Need For #Celebration

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Joy of living

I want to celebrate
The joy and love of life
The broken hearts
The breaking of a new dawn
I want to celebrate
The joy growing from the pain
The everlasting hope and love
Yes, I want to celebrate
I want to shout to the world
What is only really heard in the Great Whisper
There is love, there is hope, there is faith
I want to say it again
There is a Love
Let us celebrate
Now

Bad Theology or #Truth?

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Christ's Cross

My faith in a God that for His own sake needed to be satisfied by blood because of his holiness, is far gone! Yes, Christ died for our sins, but not because God needed this. But because we needed a revelation of Love and a pathway to help us become transformed through Love in the experience of our sins and weaknesses.

The revelation of Love tells us: “Let’s be done with scapegoating and sacrifice. Let’s be done with it once and for all. Be free to love yourself, the Divine Creator and others. “I am” is the final sacrifice not so God can love us, but so we can love ourselves.

More than dying for our sins, Christ died “because” of our sins and because of our human need for revenge, scapegoating and quid pro qou. Christ is the final scapegoat!

The All-loving Divine is telling us: “Please look upon the final sacrifice and receive it in your inner being. Now your sacrifice is needed no more, neither do you need to let anyone else pay for your sins. Actually, a sacrifice of blood has never been needed for Me to see you, love you and accept you! “I am” accepted you when you were created and you were blessed from the beginning.

And further: “Christ dying and resurrecting is both an incident in time, and an “incident” in the Eternal Now, happening again, again and forever.

And finally: “You have always been loved, blessed and forgiven! Christ died to set you free, to help you forgive yourself, so that forgiveness and love can help you to become transformed in your inner being.

He died and rose again to free you to live life abundantly! Do you get it? Do you get it?”

Is this bad theology or the Great Truth and The Truly Good News?

I believe in a Truth that says: You are eternally accepted by Love, the beloved loved by The Beloved.

Peace be with you 🙂

Childhood Trauma #poem #trauma

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Childhood loss

Sadness within

Takes you low

Irritation from small things

What is hiding deep below the surface

Sorrow within

Takes you low

Feelings of uncertainty

What is hiding deep below the surface

Despair within

Takes you low

A hunger for eyes to have seen

What was barely beneath the surface

Are #Pentecostals Afraid Of The Spirit?

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Are we afraid of the Spirit's work

I am asking myself and you today: Are (some) Pentecostals afraid of the Spirit (some times)? This question has come to my mind lately, and it was so pressing that I wanted to write a short blog post about it.

Looking back upon my own growing up in the Pentecostal church I have realised that some of the preaching and teaching heard and read was more fearbased than lovebased. Or you might say there was a lack of trust in your own ability to do the right thinking and even some times the critical mind was condemned and rejected.

What makes me wonder is why Pentecostals that so strongly believe in the Holy Spirit and the possibility of being filled with this Spirit at the same time can be in the danger of rejecting the listening to this same Spirit?

Jesus talked about the letter of the law that would kill the spiritual life. And this makes me wonder if the “sola scriptura”-focus (aka literal Bible interpretation) has been a hindering for seeing and trusting the Spirit’s work among the members of the church.

When the message is believe God’s Word, and God’s Word (clearly) says this, and this, and that, we may have lost the ability to trust the promptings of the Spirit within ourselves. Was Pentecost only an outpouring of the Spirit on the outside, or was it not also a filling of the Spirit within?

Another common teaching among Pentecostals is “don’t trust your feelings, rather trust the Word of God (in the Bible, and in the Bible only!)”. I wonder why Christians want to send the message that your feelings are not so important and often should be disregarded?

One thing I have learned is that the greatest a person can experience is a sense of love and freedom on the inside. I believe this love AND freedom is what God created us to experience as the Spirit keep revealing the divine and eternal truths to us. This freedom from within is what creates a profound joy in our lives. Yes, the feeling of true joy!

Jesus said he had to leave in order for the Spirit to come. The Spirit was going to teach us, each and everyone of us. Also the Spirt would grow fruits in our lives, as joy, patience, meekness and more. I believe Jesus also was serious when He said “Fear not”. God sent His Spirit to be with us, around us, AND also within. A Spirit to be trusted.

So in my opinion I think there is a lot of fear stopping people and even “Spirit-filled” Pentecostals to trust in the inner promptings of the Spirit in their hearts. Many are so afraid of mixing up man with God, and can’t trust the Spirit within because they think they make themselves gods or God! This is one of the greatest misunderstandings I think. This is also why many believe mystics are on the wrong path. That’s until they too experience that the scales are removed from their eyes, and they finally see what a Spirit God has blessed us with and filled us with!

Please, if you have read this far, I pray that you kindly ask yourself: Am I afraid of the Spirit in my life? The promptings and the intuition, the Still Small Voice, calling me not only through the whole of creation but also from within my very soul? Is my faith more fearbased than trustbased? Can I trust myself, and the Spirit God has given me to teach me? Do I long for more freedom and joy in my life? Have teachings I grew up with stopped me from trusting that God is with me in all my processes in life, and that He wants me to grow in freedom and joy?

Grace and peace to you!

If you would like to be noted when new posts are published please press “follow” or email me at: sveinboerge@hotmail.com. 

He showed us #poem #Jesus

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His life showed us the way of love and restoration

The road of life is often down before it is up

In His suffering and death He embraced the suffering of men and the Earth

We also need to surrender, trust and drink our cup

In his resurrection He shouted out that Love always wins

Let His Love be our life

Note: This poem is about life in general and does not advice people to accept abusive or criminal behaviour.

The Longing Pains Me

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The longing pains me. Is it new life growing or a desire for wholeness? I thirst for His love and grace to color my life and surroundings. Fill my empty, bottomless cup. I pray and yearn, day and night. Come, heal my inner man.

Let my eyes dwell on Your goodness. I long for your touch, to drink your lifegiving water. It is painful, this hunger, it truly is. May Your Spirit quench my thirst.

Your Life within me, is my strength forever and ever. Your Love upholds me and lifts my soul. Your Grace heals my inner man and restores my broken heart. In You I find truth and rest for my soul.

Keep me Lord, surround me, embrace me in my sorrow and woundedness. Help me to be a giver of what You have given. Help me drink the cup and take the steps You ask of me. You want the whole world to know, The Christ that moves and upholds.

Christ be my life, Christ be my all. Let me see with Your eyes, each created thing and being, yes, the whole of Your creation. When everything else is burned away, be You still, the Flame burning in my heart.

Christ is all in all

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Christ is all in all

“Christ is all in all” (Colossians 3,11)

I am reading the latest news and finding information that a contemplative Pentecostal brother is being evicted from the site of his religious community. Having grown up in the Pentecostal movement this saddens me greatly. All the thumbs up for this from fellow Christians scare and sadden me even more. The Pentecostal movement in Sweden and Norway is in great need of ecumenical work and broader perspectives. This is a huge step back. And a step back sadly supported by many.

I believe this is a great mistake, but it is also understandable why this is happening. When religious practice seems strange and foreign it can be very easy to dismiss, yes, even name it the devil’s work. Someone actually commented on this brother’s practice as the work of the devil. That’s how far it goes.

But when something is a bit strange and foreign to the classic Pentecostal believer it does not mean the teaching or practice is evil. We must realize that we understand some of the things that are related to and connected to our background and upbringing, while many other things are probably far better understood by others. Sometimes we need to listen, listen and listen before we discern and distinguish, but never judge or condemn. The shadow is great in many people’s lives, and many is stuck in first-half-of-life-thinking (read Rohrs book “Falling Upward”).

This is what it is about, I think, it’s a clash of first- and second-half-of-life-thinking. It is a clash of black and white thinking and the contemplative mind and heart. I’ve tried to comment on this case on Facebook among a lot of judgmental messengers. It’s seems it is in vain, so I just had to write a blog post about this.

Now, I silently pray, God lead us into your unity of grace and love. God, lead us into the love of all brothers and sisters, the insiders and the outsiders, those we do not understand. Help us, Gracious Lord, to embrace our own shadow, and see that what we fear from and in others is what we need to embrace in ourselves. Lead us, Pentecostals and this brother in and through the darkness. Peace.

Lonely Longing

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Sunflowers

Longing for true life

in relation to real people

Broken friendships and loss

Especially difficult

in times like these

Longing to truly give to others

what my heart has deeply received

Letting it rest

Especially difficult

in times like these

From longing to looking ahead

to days of new paths

Hungering for brighter days

Especially easy

      in times like these

 

 

Keep me in your Heart for a while

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butterfly in hands
I think of Løgstrup’s words that each individual in his encounter with another human being holds some of that human life in his hand. How important is our encounter with the other and the other’s encounter with us? This applies throughout life, and some meet once, while others spend a lot of time together. How do I receive others? The same way I also want to be received?
Adults as well as children have both strength and vulnerability in a beautiful combination. And only in the meeting between people and in honesty and love does someone find the strength in his own vulnerability. It is precisely in this meeting between people that the miracle happens. In this meeting we are created for each other and for oneself. Yes so, it is! In your own encounter with the other and the other’s encounter, this is how life itself becomes.
Thank you to those I meet almost daily and thank you to those I may have only met once and I have yet to meet! Thank you for being and also giving me joy in just being! And finally, who would be thankful for meeting with you in the days to come (in corona time: a message, a phone?)? Feel free to listen to this nice song “Keep me in your heart” which for us can be both about the living and those who have found rest 🙂
Norsk versjon:
Bevar meg i ditt hjerte for en stund
Jeg tenker på Løgstrups ord om at hver enkelt i sitt møte med et annet menneske holder noe av det menneskets liv i sin hånd. Hvor viktig er ikke vårt møte med den andre og den andres møte med oss? Dette gjelder gjennom livet, og noen møtes en gang, mens andre får mye tid sammen. Hvordan tar jeg imot andre? Slik jeg også ønsker å bli tatt imot? Voksen som også barn har i seg både en styrke og sårbarhet i en vakker kombinasjon. Og bare i møte mellom mennesker og i ærligheten og kjærligheten finner menneskets styrken i sin egen sårbarhet. Nettopp i dette møtet mellom mennesker skjer miraklet. I dette møte blir vi til for hverandre og for en selv. Ja slik, er det! I ditt eget møte med den andre og den andres møte deg slik blir selve livet til.
Takk til deg som jeg nesten daglig møter og takk til deg som jeg kanskje bare har møtt en gang og takk til deg som jeg en gang skal møte. Takk for at du er til og også gir meg glede i det å være til! Og å til slutt, hvem kan bli glad for et møte med deg i dagene som kommer (i koronatid: en melding, en telefon)? Lytt gjerne til denne fine sangen “Keep me in your heart for a while” som for oss kan handle om både om de levende og de som har funnet hvilen 🙂

Last Song

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prairie-679014_1920

Bluebells ringing in the morning sun

The day passing slowly

The evening coming so deep and blue

Everything said that can be said

The Earth has nourished you for a long time

Stars mirrored in the sea

Now say goodbye, to everything you know

Now it is you, who are dying

The boat is on the riverbank

The ferryman is ready

Look back no more

The Light is all you have

This poem was written by a very good, mystic friend, Dag Knapstad 🙂 Posted with the poet’s permission.

Norwegian original:

Siste sang

Blåklokker ringer i morgensol

Dagen drar langsomt forbi

Kvelden den kommer så dyp og blå

Alt er nå sagt som kan sies

Jorden har næret deg lenge nå

Stjernene speilet i sjø

Ta nå farvel med alt du vet

Nå er det du som skal dø

Båten den ligger ved elvens bredd

Ferjemannen er klar

Se deg ikke tilbake mer

Lyset er alt du har

Empty

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Boats

I am empty

At least I feel so

This is a dark time

A time when it is very difficult to see

 

I feel almost nothing

Just a hollow pain inside

I am saddened

By my lack of love for self and others

 

I feel empty

For how long have I been emptied

Hardly any joy

I can not force it any more

 

Will I go crazy

Or will I become free

I don’t know now

Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow

 

I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through

But I will remind myself

That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared

On the cross he also felt completely lost

And away from his Father’s love

 

I do not know

But I want to trust

Rather than giving up on life

I give up walking in my own strength

Without feeling anything

I let go of my answers and ideas

Because now I have none

The Great Within

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Stormy Weather

There is a Source

I call it The Great Within

It gives life and wisdom

It can be like

A Great Storm or

A Still Small Voice

This is the Great Within

It manifests in the silence of each moment

Mother

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mother-and-son

Mother

Your joy

Your hope

Your love

Were there

So many times

 

Mother

You are still here

But also not

Different

 

Mother

I can still see your joy

Hope

And love

 

Mother

I can also see in you what you once saw in me

Fear

Insecurity

Pain

 

Mother

Sweet bitterness

Sweet sadness

Pain but

Memories sweet

Still love

Always

 

Is Surrender a Possible Way?

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Surrendering

I woke up this morning worrying. Worrying about some things I can not or should not do anything about at the moment. It must wait.

This wait can also be a good thing. Since by waiting my feelings may get some necessary time to calm down. Then I can get some time to do some real thinking if needed, when I am more rested and not stressed out.

This wait can also be a chance to practice trust and surrender. Sometimes humans, at least I can speak for myself, try to control everything. Every thing must be this way or that way, yes, every thing needs to be perfect.

For myself, growing up with not enough acceptance for anger and frustration, it can still be difficult to handle feelings that come up. The feelings are often very strong. I guess I have not been used to being able to express negative feelings, so this is still difficult at times, being afraid that it won’t be acceptable, and that I will be rejected.

Deep inside, at times hidden for no one to see, sometimes even hidden to ourselves, we are feeling insecure and have this need to be embraced and completely accepted for who we are.

Not being able to express the full range of my emotions and feelings when I were younger has interfered with my ability to feel completely secure today, and has also made me, both consciously and uncounciusly, afraid of making mistakes.

Still, in the midst of all worry and fear of making or being responsible for mistakes, I feel a great energy for living and doing good. Not the perfect kind of good, but good, as in being someone to be trusted, a someone with hopefully some wisdom and at least enough empathy to be of some help to others. Nouwen’s expression that we can be “wounded healers” resonates with me.

I mentioned the wait I give myself when worrying tries to take over. The wait I give myself when I know worrying is of no use and know as the holy book says that worrying can not add any length to my life (Matthew 6:27). Much worrying does not benefit us at all. But the wait can be beneficial.

The wait can be a chance to surrender. A chance to say to God “hey, you know everything, you know my heart, you know the good stuff and the bad stuff, yes you know everything…but now I give it all to you!”. This simple prayer can be the beginning of a quite time of surrender. Imagine surrendering everything to the Creator of the Universe!?

I know this is so, so much easier said than done. Trust me, I do know! But that does not make it less true or even less possible. I believe in the practice of surrender. And being silent before the Great Divine. I believe in Christ within us, that can become our lives, so that we may live through him. I believe in the acceptance of all emotions and feelings, but also in the denial and surrender of the ego, and in the trust in the Christ within. I can, and you can, surrender and give everything to the One that gave us life. I mean, surrender every thing!

I remember reading a book (by the way I have not been sponsored to say this) called The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer. Here he tells a story of surrendering to life, I would say Life with a capital L. He is not sugarcoating life, but he is telling an honest story about his company and later also the development of a spiritual center. And he is telling of difficulties he met, even a time spent in court. Still, through all this, he practiced surrender. A surrender to life.

I believe in the wait and the surrender. I believe in the silence and in the trust. I believe we can be still, and know, truly know there is a God (Psalm 46:10). A God that knows our heart and also our sin and failures. Surrender does not mean that you are excempt from taking action or doing what you can do. But surrender is a place to start and restart when life feels, really feels, overwhelming.

So, I believe there can be trust and encouragment in sitting down or going for a walk, crying out, and then maybe also in the divine silence you may be, though maybe weakly, able to surrender to the One that cares for you, for all, the Giver of Life.

Feel free to comment!

PS! Remember surrendering to a God that to you may seem invisible can be really difficult. We need to be around people and also nature, that point to and practice this love, and in who and which also God lives (the panentheistic not pantheistic worldview). So also remember to reach out to someone you can trust when you are experiencing difficulties and worry. And also reach out to those you may think are going through hardship. We “are” Christ in this world.

The Good Sheperd

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The Good Sheperd

Christ is My Sheperd

The Sheperd upholding my life

The One carrying me through it all

It is in the One I trust in everything and everyone

Christ for me

Christ for you

Christ for all

The Universal Christ

All in all

The Lonely Road Into Solitude

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I think the contemplative path can be a lonely road. When you are realizing that dogmas you once believed in are no longer very important and when you really see that the ego is not your most true self you (or your ego?) can experience the feeling of loss. Also the experience that people around you are not on the same page and that words are not sufficient when you try to explain makes it difficult to experience true fellowship. Yes, I truly believe that the contemplative road can be lonely.

Still, I also believe, that when you have started walking the contemplative and silent path, there is no turning back. I believe that the contemplative path is a path where you seek oneness with a God that is just as much within as without. You have moved your center from head to heart and you will never want to go back to your former understanding. You have found something that have changed your way of seeing, and you know that you are on the road to truth. And eventually truth sets free. I also believe that this, at times loney road, is a road that leads to a solitude where your heart can truly rest and truly know that all there is, is love. And now you see that you and all of creation is embraced by this Love.

Spirit within and without

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Spirit

Spirit You live within me

Spirit You are truth

Spirit to You I connect

Spirit You make me aware

Spirit within and without

Spirit all around

In You I live and have my being

To be in and aware of Spirit

Is to be free

No answers? Deconstructing?

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I share a part of a poem I wrote some time ago (minor changes and restructuring before publishing). Maybe the poem is about a time of deconstruction? When we experience what some would call a time of deconstruction the hope is that later there will be a time of new construction. Richard Rohr writes about the universal pattern of order, disorder and reorder (https://cac.org/the-universal-pattern-2020-08-09/). We may have to go through times of suffering, deconstruction and disorder. But when this happens we are also given a chance to give up old ways of living or thinking, in order to experience new growth and freedom in our lives.

EMPTY (part one)

I am empty

At least I feel so

This is a dark time

A time when it is very difficult to see

I feel almost nothing

Just a hollow pain inside

I am saddened

By my lack of love for self and others

I feel empty

For how long have I been emptied

Hardly any joy

I can not force it any more

Will I go crazy

Or will I become free

I don’t know now

Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow

I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through

But I will remind myself

That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared

On the cross he also felt completely lost

And away from his Father’s love

I do not know

But I want to trust

Rather than giving up on life

I give up walking in my own strength

Without feeling anything

I let go of my answers and ideas

Because now I have none

Westworld

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Westworld

Longing for Westworld

My true home

Where my source is

Longing for The River within

To flow freely

True life

Longing for The Divine

To be with The Beloved

In Love’s embrace

Mother and my Loneliness

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Mother and son (hope)

I guess I have let her carry my loneliness all this time

Now she has been taken ill and hardly remembers herself and me

Crying and a lot of tears

I have to carry my own loneliness now

I have to own it myself

Part of being human is also the experience of loneliness

A longing for true union with man and God

Now I carry this loneliness of mine

I have taken it back from her

This is not her burden anymore

Maybe I am also better at carrying my own burden now

Thank you for carrying it for so long

For making life bearable also in the darkest of times

Now I will continue this journey through loneliness on my own

Embracing my loneliness

My longing for union

Sometimes I will be carrying her

Silent Truth

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Truth

Truth is revealed in silence

Truth is received in silence

Truth lives in the silence within

Truth will find its way when you listen

Truth asks you to be true to yourself

Truth will be revealed when needed

Truth is revealed in silence

Truth is to be trusted and received

Truth helps you to let go of what is not true

Truth eventually creates freedom

Truth grows from within

Truth is revealed in silence

Silent Truth