Did you know
There is a door
A doorway to the
Divine Garden
This door is
A Doorway of Silence
Doorway of Silence
Silence
Divine Blindness
Is it not true? That there is a season for everything as the Old Book tells us? Everything is continually changing and transforming. Life is flowing in dynamical ways. And you and I and we get to partake in this eternal flow of life. It is tricky, it is sad, it is so full of grief, yet so full of longing, joy, beauty and creativity.
The winter time, in real life and spiritually too, can be a dark and cold time, a time of hiding in the quietness. Yet also, this time of coldness and dying, is a preparation, a silent growing of new lifeflow. There can be great pain in the dying which is part of a new creation.
I love the story of the prodigal son in the New Testament, particularly the phrase, ‘then he came to himself’. Dying and renewal is painful, but also a transformation into new ways of seeing. This deep dive into dark mystery can create a new sense of aliveness and a deeper joy.
But again, the grief, the pain can be very dark. It can feel like all hope is lost. You feel lost at sea, with no shore in sight. I am reminded by Paul’s blindness after the bright revelation of Jesus on the road to Damascus. He could not see for several days. But there was a divine working taking place deep within him. This was not a time for his ordinary senses, only a time for transformational blindness.
Somewhere in the prophet book of Isaiah it is said that God will tell us secrets in the dark times. Maybe in days of darkness we are divinely blinded? You may feel like you shut down for a time, but is it only for change and renewal to take hold?
Does this make sense to you? Do you believe in change and transformation? Can you trust that along with the pain there is also a rebirth of new life? Could it be that when our eyes eventually are opened we are in for a great surprise?
Blessings to you!
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Embraced
#Amnesia
Rest
Rest
I am loved
I am held
I am known
I am listening
and
I have surrendered
myself
to
Self
this is my
rest
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Hope – What if…
What if I tell you there is hope, there is always hope? Would you blame me for just conveying the biggest cliché? The all-time-high lie that we tell people when they’re suffering and can’t find their way through the wilderness of sorrow? But what if, what if it is true?
The worrying monkey-mind often keeps repeating these terrible and fear inspiring “what ifs”. What if this is what he thinks of me? What if I am going to die from an awful disease? What if the plane falls down? What if I won’t pass this exam? What if I am going to loose my job? What if I can’t find help for my problem? What if there is no goodness in this world? What if, what if, what if….constantly repeating.
Another cliché is, yes, I have been there too. Like that’s very comforting in the middle of the deepest pain? And maybe it’s just something people say anyway to give others some false comfort, or even in order to turn the focus on themselves when the other person is the one truly suffering? But again, what if it’s true?
What if there is hope? What if I have been there? What if I’ve been to this really dark place where I had no hope of returning to the living? Would you believe me if I told you about it? Would it be an important message to you if you are the one now that has gone all dark?
I am telling you, whispering softly and shouting loudly again, THERE IS HOPE!! Yes, I’ve been there, and yes, I have returned, even though I didn’t think it was possible. I gave up everything, but something brought me deeply back to life. Back to colors and back to the joy of living.
Now I am sensing this energy breaking barriers within, and this river flowing again from within to without. Now I want to express myself and share the good news! If you will listen, dear, beloved, of God. There is hope! There is I way through! I know some of you don’t think so. I did too. But was surprised by the help I found. Reach out, and next maybe to your complete surprise, you’ll find new life from within and all around.
Blessings and new light to you, as you journey true your deep pain and darkness. There will be light again! There is hope! Always!
PS! Reading other posts on this blog, may partly help you find your way. This blog has followed me through later life, and what I share here is mostly from my own experience or inner longing.
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Love First
You have probably heard it said, you are loved through Christ. Since Jesus paid the price you may walk free. You say, amen hallelujah, thank God for His love and sacrifice. God hates sin, but now, by His grace and because of Jesus on the cross, He can now look at me, accept me and love me. All this because Jesus became the perfect offering. When God looks at me, He sees the Lamb of God. God loves you in and through Christ. Surprisingly I am asking you if this message can in fact be harmful? How can this message really limit your self love, self respect and then your love for your neighbour? When the message is that God can’t love you if it wasn’t for Christ, there may a problem.
Yet, the Bible also tells us to love God and man, in the same way we love ourselves. But do you really, truly love yourself? Self love is a bit of a taboo, and often looked upon as egotistical. But what if it is crucial before all the other fruits of the Spirit to grow is that you begin with love, love for self, love for God. Can you see that if God can look at you only through Christ, he is not looking at you at all!? And how can you love yourself alone, if God needs Jesus to do so? But what if Love came first? Love for creation, and Love for you, since you are a unique part of it?
Genesis explains that God created life and everything. He breathed His very Spirit into us through our nostrils. This is how you became alive, God breathed is Spirit of Life and Love into you. Now this Spirit flows from your within. That’s the Good News! God loves you from within!! You have this River of Love within you!
Remember, Genesis also tells us that God’s creation was good, and even when man was created God said it was very good. Can you say that to yourself, I am very good!? Can you truly say that? Isn’t that what God is saying? Humans are the greatest in my creation, it is the crown? Is that how you look upon yourself, God’s crown? If God was asked, show me what you are most proud of and fond of, when it comes to your artistry, your creation, what would the Divine say? Wouldn’t He point His finger in your and other people’s direction and say, YOU!?
God loves you, He, She, the Trinity, They love you! In 2.Peter it even says that we are partakers in the Divine Nature! How can that be? These news, are almost too good to be true! And isn’t that the surprise of grace, it is almost too good to be true? But that is if we think in our human way. That God loves us and looks upon us as very good, is God’s true perspective. Love always comes first! But wait, you say, you are only telling half truths, your missing the greater picture. You, say, man is sinful, and every evil desire lurks within man. God hates sin, but loves sinners/humans.
I ask you, does God only love what is perfect? And does God need someone perfect to die, to love us? Whatever God did, He did it because He already loved us, right? Still, maybe we are the ones that need this scapegoat? Do we need someone to put the blame on, so we don’t have to face our own sin and darkness? I am not saying man is all light. I know that for sure, just by looking into my own heart. But I am saying we need to get the start right, for you, for me, for our children, for everyone.
God loves mankind, He LOVES you and He loves His creation. It is His pride! With this Love He breathed Life into your very within, before you were sent into this world to live your unique life, the best way you can.
I ask you to sit for a few moments in silence. Ask yourself, do I love myself, in the same way God loves me, His crown, His masterpiece? Then let yourself sink into His love, a Love that embraces you in your completeness (goodness and badness), in order to free you into true self love and love for others.
It is there for you, the River within, the River of Love.
Love first, always…
Are you a listener and likes to be read to – go here to find an audioversion of this text:
Note: If you are interested in the topic of scapegoating books by René Girard may be of interest. Poems of Rainier Rilke are also great, and even his book “Letters to a young poet”. Last, but not the least, I would recommend reading Richard Rohr’s books, i.e. Fallling Upward and Immortal Diamond. Even though I don’t quote any of these authors directly, I think I am indebted to them.
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Now and Forever
Open my heart wide, so I may see
Open my heart wide, so I may let go
Open my heart wide, so I may know
You, my Lover and Love
Help me bow down deeply, so I may drink
Help me stretch far, so I may pluck
Help me sit down quietly, so I may dine
Last, help me walk gently, so I may bless
With You, my Lover and Love
Now and forever
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Truth
A friend once said to me, “all you need is to wonder”. I do believe it is important to wonder about life, be curious and to ask questions. As I grow older, I sometimes think I know less and less. At the same time, I believe in what Jesus said, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. But again, what is really true or really the truth? Maybe the a truth is that there is so much we will not know on this side of eternity, that by accepting that as true, this will lead to us the experience of greater freedom in life?
Still, I do believe we need silence and contemplation in our lives in order to find truth, in ourselves, in our relations and experiences. So many of us are running from one thing to another. So many of us spend hours upon hours in front of screens, whether it is the computer screen, mobile or tv. It is so easy to become trapped and addicted, if we don’t make the extra effort to choose wisely how we spend our time.
A teacher once said that young people today can’t concentrate for longer than the duration of a Tik-Tok-video. This may be an extreme statement, but it is also partly true. We probably have to accept that the world has become a lot more digital, and of course digital tools can be helpful, and they have also helped us especially in these Corona times. But I do believe we are in danger of partly losing our souls and becoming more superficial if we don’t take the time just BEING without too many distractions, and if we don’t prioritize to spend time in silence and contemplation.
To be continued…
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The Lonely Road Into Solitude
I think the contemplative path can be a lonely road. When you are realizing that dogmas you once believed in are no longer very important and when you really see that the ego is not your most true self you (or your ego?) can experience the feeling of loss. Also the experience that people around you are not on the same page and that words are not sufficient when you try to explain makes it difficult to experience true fellowship. Yes, I truly believe that the contemplative road can be lonely.
Still, I also believe, that when you have started walking the contemplative and silent path, there is no turning back. I believe that the contemplative path is a path where you seek oneness with a God that is just as much within as without. You have moved your center from head to heart and you will never want to go back to your former understanding. You have found something that have changed your way of seeing, and you know that you are on the road to truth. And eventually truth sets free. I also believe that this, at times loney road, is a road that leads to a solitude where your heart can truly rest and truly know that all there is, is love. And now you see that you and all of creation is embraced by this Love.
The Contemplative Life 