The Longing Pains Me

The longing pains me. Is it new life growing or a desire for wholeness? I thirst for His love and grace to color my life and surroundings. Fill my empty, bottomless cup. I pray and yearn, day and night. Come, heal my inner man.

Let my eyes dwell on Your goodness. I long for your touch, to drink your lifegiving water. It is painful, this hunger, it truly is. May Your Spirit quench my thirst.

Your Life within me, is my strength forever and ever. Your Love upholds me and lifts my soul. Your Grace heals my inner man and restores my broken heart. In You I find truth and rest for my soul.

Keep me Lord, surround me, embrace me in my sorrow and woundedness. Help me to be a giver of what You have given. Help me drink the cup and take the steps You ask of me. You want the whole world to know, The Christ that moves and upholds.

Christ be my life, Christ be my all. Let me see with Your eyes, each created thing and being, yes, the whole of Your creation. When everything else is burned away, be You still, the Flame burning in and embracing my heart.

Lonely Longing

Sunflowers

Longing for true life

in relation to real people

Broken friendships and loss

Especially difficult

in times like these

Longing to truly give to others

what my heart has deeply received

Letting it rest

Especially difficult

in times like these

From longing to looking ahead

to days of new paths

Hungering for brighter days

Especially easy

      in times like these

 

 

Last Song

prairie-679014_1920

Bluebells ringing in the morning sun

The day passing slowly

The evening coming so deep and blue

Everything said that can be said

The Earth has nourished you for a long time

Stars mirrored in the sea

Now say goodbye, to everything you know

Now it is you, who are dying

The boat is on the riverbank

The ferryman is ready

Look back no more

The Light is all you have

This poem was written by a very good, mystic friend, Dag Knapstad 🙂 Posted with the poet’s permission.

Norwegian original:

Siste sang

Blåklokker ringer i morgensol

Dagen drar langsomt forbi

Kvelden den kommer så dyp og blå

Alt er nå sagt som kan sies

Jorden har næret deg lenge nå

Stjernene speilet i sjø

Ta nå farvel med alt du vet

Nå er det du som skal dø

Båten den ligger ved elvens bredd

Ferjemannen er klar

Se deg ikke tilbake mer

Lyset er alt du har

Empty

Boats

I am empty

At least I feel so

This is a dark time

A time when it is very difficult to see

 

I feel almost nothing

Just a hollow pain inside

I am saddened

By my lack of love for self and others

 

I feel empty

For how long have I been emptied

Hardly any joy

I can not force it any more

 

Will I go crazy

Or will I become free

I don’t know now

Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow

 

I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through

But I will remind myself

That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared

On the cross he also felt completely lost

And away from his Father’s love

 

I do not know

But I want to trust

Rather than giving up on life

I give up walking in my own strength

Without feeling anything

I let go of my answers and ideas

Because now I have none

Mother

mother-and-son

Mother

Your joy

Your hope

Your love

Were there

So many times

 

Mother

You are still here

But also not

Different

 

Mother

I can still see your joy

Hope

And love

 

Mother

I can also see in you what you once saw in me

Fear

Insecurity

Pain

 

Mother

Sweet bitterness

Sweet sadness

Pain but

Memories sweet

Still love

Always