Empty

Boats

I am empty

At least I feel so

This is a dark time

A time when it is very difficult to see

 

I feel almost nothing

Just a hollow pain inside

I am saddened

By my lack of love for self and others

 

I feel empty

For how long have I been emptied

Hardly any joy

I can not force it any more

 

Will I go crazy

Or will I become free

I don’t know now

Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow

 

I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through

But I will remind myself

That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared

On the cross he also felt completely lost

And away from his Father’s love

 

I do not know

But I want to trust

Rather than giving up on life

I give up walking in my own strength

Without feeling anything

I let go of my answers and ideas

Because now I have none

Mother

mother-and-son

Mother

Your joy

Your hope

Your love

Were there

So many times

 

Mother

You are still here

But also not

Different

 

Mother

I can still see your joy

Hope

And love

 

Mother

I can also see in you what you once saw in me

Fear

Insecurity

Pain

 

Mother

Sweet bitterness

Sweet sadness

Pain but

Memories sweet

Still love

Always