Month: Jul 2024

An Indestructible Foundation

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Santorini Sunrise 2024

«The highest, most decisive experience is to be alone with one’s own self. You must be alone to find out what supports you, when you find that you can not support yourself. Only this can give you an indestructible foundation.”

Carl Gustav Jung, Collected Works 12

I have opened this text by sharing, in my opinion, an excellent quote from Carl Jung. This is a quote that really speaks to me now, and a quote which can lead me further on my contemplative path. The reason why it touches me is, I think, that I realize I do a lot of things to get attention. I do a lot for others to see me, to love me and accept me. But what I do know deep within is, that it is mostly in vain.

What is to support me is not in the other more than it is within me. I need to seek and find this indestructible foundation, which is what can truly support me. I think it was the need for this foundation, a longing for it, that made me embark on this contemplative journey in the first place.

One interest I have is collecting icons, holy images of saints and holy persons and from stories in the Bible. I have been on several trips to Crete, Greece, where I have been taken by the beauty of the icons and touched by the direct experience of them, an experience that quenches some of the thirst within me, my deepest soul. In my soul is the place where I am truly seen, truly embraced and loved for who I am. I do also experience a sense of peace, and love, when I look at the icons, especially the eyes of the holy persons displayed.

Even when others do not share this interest of mine in icons, I do still believe, the need to be seen, to be known, is one thing all humans have in common. And we do search for this during our whole lives, more or less. Those who search this less, I believe, may be those who have grown into to more wisdom, and now they just know.

I am also reminded of one thing Carl Jung said, when he was asked whether he believed in God or not. He said something like, “I don’t believe, I don’t need to believe, because I know”. This is the knowing I also am talking about, when I name those wiser and even more in rest in the love for themselves and others. They just know. They have an inner knowledge and experience, that is beyond what our ego can provide, something which is deeper and closer to us than ourselves. This is something of the Divine within us, and sensing this can help us grow into this knowing. This again is what keeps me on the contemplative path in life.

Very soon I am going away on a silent retreat for four days. This will be my first experience of such a retreat. It is about time, I think, when I am in my fifthieth year now, to spend a few days in silence and silent reflection and prayer. It is one way of telling myself too, that I am serious about choosing this contemplative path. You may have seen that I have been trying to write about this retreat in my blog posts lately especially in my poems.

I have come to the understanding through my experiences with centering prayer and my reading, of Keating amongst others, that I am not to expect any special experiences, like excuberant joy and ecstasy in this time of silent practice. I am also not to seek these things first. but I am only to seek the silence itself and be open. So, that is what I am planning to do, to spend a lot of time in silence, and maybe also do some light reading and journalling. Part from this there is a retreat-leader that will be sharing something about silence as a contemplative path each day. Having few expectations is helpful I think, so I stay grounded and am more focused on the silence and the openness, instead of wasting energy searching for or expecting something extraordinary.

I have a little worry, that it possibly will be challenging. That is not so much the silence in itself, but what can come up in me, of difficult and suppressed feelings, which can become heavy to bear. I started this text by referring to Carl Jung’s words about the indestructible foundation. A hope I have is that if the silence helps me process some of my painful feelings and grief, this might lead me closer to this foundation. I do believe that this foundation, is something of a more divine quality, and it is beyond my ego, my thoughts and feelings. Yet, I have become certain that feelings need to be felt, in order to be processed and transformed before a letting go of them.

Maybe this retreat can, at least as an effect in the days after, help me realize that my deep inner Eye, is what truly can see me and uphold me, it can accept me and quench my desire for outer support? Maybe the retreat can even cure me from the need to collect icons, to be seen by outer holy eyes, because what they carry is only a lesser duplication and reflection of the true Mirror that I carry within, in my soul.

Thank you for patience in reading, and peace and love to you! Feel free to share your own thoughts and reflections in the comments.

Retrett / Retreat

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Det er no
Det er no eg skal gå eit stykke aleine
Eg skal ikkje seia noko
For det er no eg skal vere stille
Det er no det gjeld
Det er no det skjer
Det eg ikkje heilt kan vite kva er

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In English:

It is now
It is now I must walk a mile alone
I am not going to be talking
Because it is now I am to be silent
This is it
It happens now
That which I do not really know

Doors

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I like tall doors
The wide ones too
In particular beautifully decorated ones
They are not there to make you feel small
They stand tall just to remind you
That when you are in awe
Of their grandness and beauty
That is only a mirror
For the divine image in you
If the thought of what is behind evokes fear
The width and height are there to say,
Fear not, I greet you
Now open me, pass through
I embrace all of you and
I may even lead to something new

Westworld / Landet i vest

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Kissamos2

I go there when I am alone
I go there when I am in need
I go there when I am hurt
I go there when I am tired
I go there when I am falling

There I am in union
There I am filled
There I am comforted
There I am rested
There I am uplifted

This is the Westworld

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Oversatt til nynorsk:

Eg går dit når eg er aleine
Eg går dit når eg har eit behov
Eg går dit når eg er såra
Eg går dit når eg er trøyt
Eg går dit når eg faller

Der er eg i eining
Der er eg fylt
Der er eg trøysta
Der er eg utkvilt
Der er eg opplyfta

Dette er Landet i vest

Are You the Priest?

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You were sitting at the corner
Asking for some coins for daily bread
I bowed my head and forced a smile
Then I just walked by

Later I asked myself
What did you do and what’s wrong with you
What was more pressing
More important to do

Are you the priest singing songs
Yet no cross and no heart
To love your neigbour
As you love God

Where is Your Center

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Summer 2015 was special for me. I had some kind of awakening. I had been reading The Untethered Soul by Michael S. Singer, probably for the second time. Slowly, yet also suddenly, I was overcome by a deep sense of joy. The joy was so real and rare, that I almost thought I had the Awakening.

What was it that created this deep and special joy, from within? It was the realization that I was not my thoughts. I had thoughts, but the thoughts were not me in themselves. To really see this with my inner eye was very liberating. They joy sprang forth from the heart of a free man. And the joy was profound and real.

After a long summer holiday which I remember very fondly, I went back to my work at the school. I remember not being able to hold it to myself, I had to share. This was almost too good to be true, and at least too good not to be spoken of and possibly spread to others. So I shared the testimony with those willing to lend an ear to my speech.

Looking back at it now, after all these years, nine years to be specific, I remember this joy, because it was truly life changing for me. It was a paradigm shift for sure. I had learned to have my center more in my heart and intuition, and much less in my ever changing and often weary and troubling thoughts.

If this speaks to your longing, and to your heart, then I believe to experience this is also possible for you. If your thoughts are discouraging and not very uplifting, then you can find great help in a shift like I experienced. And this is no commercial, and I am sharing this information for free. So why not pick up this book, The Untethered Soul, by Michael S. Singer and check it out for yourself?

Remember, give it time, you may not experience very much the first time you read the book. But reading plants seeds in your heart. Read it again. And before you know it, your heart awakens to the experience of a new and profound joy!

Light and love to you 🌄

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. I would love to hear from you, so would other readers.

Ego and the Vastness of Self (part three)

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Just as I had finished writing the second part I realised I couldn’t stop there. I am also sorry if some of you almost experienced me getting into to preaching, and maybe also preaching a “Christian” and exclusive message. That is not what I meant to do. At least not giving an exclusive message only for religious people or even Christians. What I am pointing to is a universal message that is possible to experience for a believer and an atheist alike. When I say atheist, I do believe so, but the person might not stay atheist for the rest of his/her life, if the Vastness are truly and deeply experienced. At least that is my humble opinion.

I do not think my last blog post was on to the message of transformation. It was about the limited usefulness of the ego, and where to place the ego in the hiearchy of self knowledge and understanding. This last part of the topic “Ego and the Vastness of Self” will therefore say more about the transformation of the ego or transformation of the individual. Because a transformation is unavoidable if people get exposed to the Vastness, at least if you spend time with it in silence. Time in silence, can be difficult and painful, but it will bear fruits eventually. That is my experience.

I ended the last blog post by mentioning the dark night of the soul and it is almost unfair to end my writing there. That is since the Dark night of the soul truly is a dark and very seriously painful experience. It should and must not be taken lightly. Some people experiencing this painful process, even come to believe that they will not return to life. Partly that is also true. Just not true in the sense your life will end or you ego will die. It is true, because when you “wake up” from the “sleep” of the dark night, you have changed and you have transformed in one way or the other. You have dug deeper, and in and through the darkness you will eventually realize you have also struck gold.

So what is this gold to be found beyond our ego? It is not so much an ego death – but it is a change in the way you relate to yourself, your ego and others, and their egos. The gold is to see and get to know something other, deeper than your ego. This is what Paul in the NT also found after three days of total blindness. The Light had hit him so brightly and strongly so he went blind, he went into at least a night of his physical eyeseeing. When he became seeing again, his life was transformed.

Some people speak of the death of ego. I do not believe in that. It is possible, but it will also kill “you” and your experience of this world. We cannot become only spiritual beings looking into the Vastness. We need the ego to function in our daily lives. That being said, we also need to put the ego in its proper space. We need to visit the Vastness. Often.

Again that is why I am blogging. It is because I have tasted, I have seen this Vastness, at least a tiny fragment of it. And I am eager to experience more of this Being, in order to find inspiration for living my life here on Earth. I have always been a truthseeker, and if you have read the whole of this blog series, I believe you are one too. I do believe this is what is common among humans, it is that we are not filled and satisfied before we touch the realm of Spirit. And then also the Spirit is experienced in glimpses mostly.

This is a difficult topic to explain and elaborate upon. Even my try here is a feeble one, and maybe I shouldn’t have tried. The Muslims speak of the hundred names for God. That is to say. the Mystery can be explained in so many ways, in so many colors and words. Yet, it would not be a Mystery if we could fully explain it. So I cannot pretend I know it all. The truth is, that I really do not know. But what I think I know, what I feel I know, what I my intuition tells me I know, I want to share with you. It is up to you to investigate further, go on the deeper and further journey, or if will not you can toss these ideas away.

So maybe, this is it, the rest of the blog here speaks for itself when it comes to pointers to this Vastness and how to reach it, or rather how to be reached by it. Now the rest is up to you and how you are guided along your path. I do believe though that a wise person grow by listening to wisdom from others. Among my words, I do humbly believe, there also is, some nutritious wisdom for life.

Blessings on your further journey, my friend 🙏

Ego and The Vastness of Self (part two)

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As much as we need our ego, and it’s helpful till a certain extent that our ego is transformed and made more flexible, just as much we need to know that we are so much more than our ego. We cannot live and function in this world without our ego (so I am not proclaiming ego-death), but at the same time we cannot go on living meaningful lives in the second part of our lives, without some experience of this other than ego.

This otherness I speak of is the most beautiful thing in the wholeness of life. It is about a vastness of a self or Self, that goes far beyond our imagination. Our egos are a beautiful creation too, at least sometimes, but this vastness I am pointing to, is of a different quality all together. And it is there for you to see and experience if you so desire and you realise that is what you truly want and need.

When the message “you are enough” doesn’t speak to you heart anymore, it may mean you are ready for a step in a new direction. You may be ready for a deeper experience and knowing of the Great Mystery.

Our egos are limited and will die, when our lives are over. At least most of it will disappear I think, since it is mostly a structure created by our minds. But the vastness of Self, Being itself, is eternal. The Holy Book tells us that humans have eternity in their hearts, so it is into our hearts and to the depth we need to go if we are to know a fragment more of this Vastness.

It is this Vastness I am trying to point to in writing these blog posts and most of my poems. In realizing this bigger truth about my life and life in general, I have come into the experience of more freedom. I do still struggle with life, and very often it is my smaller ego that creates the trouble. It is not what other people say or do. It is how my ego percieves what they say and do. It is how my past history and emotions, which is my bigger ego and also hidden ego react to the experience I have.

By taking in, preferable in silence, and silent reflection, the other part of the picture. By realizing there is a Vastness, an Otherness, something Infinite holding us all, I am slowly able to train my ego into stepping back. I don’t need to make such a big scene out of everything. I am not governed only by the ego’s need to protect itself. I can be led more by Spirit and intuition.

The Spiritfilled life is the other way, the new way, the better way, and eternal way. I do want to be led by Spirit. I do want to know and experience Oneness with all. The Bible says, everything and everyone shall be one in Christ. That is the good news! That is what fills my soul, when my ego has failed me. And beware, the ego will fail us, and in particular we can grow tired of our own ego in midlife. This can even bring us into what John of the Cross called the Dark Night of the Soul.

Yet, I do hope you can take with you something for your journey by reading these reflections. And off course, I do only see in part, and I do know I may get things wrong too, but I also believe I have found some truth that I’d like to share with you, though simply so. There may be a part three of this text that will be postet later.

For now, be at peace wherever you are in this world – and do remember, “you” are part of this Vastness.