Hold

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You just felt overwhelmed
Did not know how to cope
or how to survive, this time
You feared the crash,
you feared the burn,
felt the dread for the place of terror

You wondered what to do
To put everything on hold,
or as a wise man said,
to hold everything

That was the choice you practiced
It was not very easy
nor simple at all, yet,
it was what you needed to learn
It was another chance to learn how,
to truly hold everything,
and let go, before you could live anew

Purpose

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Again, you are diving,
into the darkness,
of these deep waters

Secrets to be found,
wisdom to be revealed, yes,
even the purpose of your heart

The ground beneath you shaking,
down you fall, now in spell,
no words to tell them all

Takes its time, journey in the dark,
to the place where you find,
your fuller story

Thinking everything is lost,
yet time will clear your sight,
again your face will shine so bright

Klang

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Eg ynskjer eigentleg å vere aleine no
Aleine i mitt eige tempel
Det blei ikkje kyrkjegong på meg
Her kan eg syngje den songen eg sjølv vil

Det spring ut frå mitt eige indre
Ulike klangar blandar seg saman
No er det særleg ein klang av sakn og sorg
Ei smerteleg vise ynskjer å bli bore fram

Eg har ei redsle
Redsla er gamal
Nett like gamal som meg,
er redsla for denne songen

Kva om eg torde å blande inn denne klangen
La denne smertelege visa syngjast ut
Kva ville bli att,
av meg

Der ute med dei andre
Må eg så kunne finne ein plass
Og vere open og ærleg
Utan å krevje eller kravstyrd

Men no ynskjer eg i alle fall å vere aleine
Ein smerteleg solo
Det veltar i meg
No er eg klar

Note: This poem was written in Norwegian nynorsk

Blame

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Blame it on yourself
Dare to take it, feel it fully
Claim your own grief
It must burn
Oh, the yearning
Become all Salamander

Having walked into it,
now, walk through it
Don’t throw it on any other
Don’t throw it away
Don’t waste what burns so well,
no matter the depth

Guilt and sorrow
No need for quenching now
Release yourself from addiction
Hysteria
Give space, create room and
burn, burn, burn

In the fiery furnace
Like the Salamander,
you will be found,
you will be crowned
Owner of your house
Now you can finally be, because now, you truly are

Hold it

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Hold it, my friend
Be your own good friend now
Hold it, please
Stay with it and hold it, within
I know it is painful
I know your despair
You need to hold it right now and here
Drink the cup, my friend
Drink, and
drink again

Just now, rest assured
You need to feel lost
before you find you are found

So hold it now
Again, drink
Let it fill you all up
I know you want wine
but the drink is vinegar
Yet, I plead you, to open up
to see, to feel and also be
molded by it
You must know your pain and
even feel lost, my friend
Only then you can know
that in this,
you are found

Dreamwork

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In the last few years, I have become more conscious of my dreams. As a result, I have also been interested in what dreams can teach us and what they have to tell us. The perspective I have sought to learn more about in dream interpretation is the Jungian understanding. This insight is part of the legacy of the psychoanalyst Carl Jung and is explained and expanded upon by other Jungians as part of the effort to make this understanding accessible to those who might be interested.

We sleep through a large portion of our lives, around a third of the time each day. Altogether, this adds up to many years of our lives. When we sleep, our brain and soul work through our thoughts and emotions, and we are also in touch with the unconscious parts and aspects of ourselves. In our daily lives, we appear as people with more or less clear identities, but much of ourselves is, at the deepest level, foreign to others, and indeed even more so to ourselves! This is why understanding dreams and doing dreamwork become essential.

Our dreams are pathways into what we do not know and are not conscious of. We may have feelings and reactions in our daily lives that we wonder about and do not understand. Although there is a limit to how much time we should spend interpreting our dreams, I believe that ignoring them would be a great loss. Therefore, spending some of our waking time reflecting on and pondering our dreams could be very beneficial and help us achieve greater self-awareness and self-understanding, thus contributing to our growth toward becoming more whole individuals.

I do not think that choosing the “path of dreams” and devoting time to what dreams want to tell us is an easy road. But it can be an important path and a significant tool, especially in certain phases and parts of our lives. When we encounter walls and barriers for which we cannot see a way around, dreams can indeed be part of the guides. But again, this is no simple art, and being convinced that one has found the absolute correct interpretation can also lead us astray.

Currently, I am part of a discussion group where we are going through a book in the Jungian tradition, Inner Work, by Robert A. Johnson. The book covers many of the fundamentals that are helpful to know about dreams, and how one can continue working with dreams even in waking life, to find nourishment for both thoughts and, perhaps more importantly, the soul—something that meets the deeper longings and questions in our soul’s depths and can help find the nourishment that dreams can also bring to our lives. So, if you are interested, this book could be a good place to start learning more.

Finding someone to discuss the topic with, preferably someone with more knowledge and experience in the field, can also be very helpful. Many would say that interpreting one’s own dreams is not an easy task and can be more fruitful when done in collaboration with a therapist or someone with insight into this area. This can help in asking the right questions and contribute to the wondering about what various dreams might be telling us about the unconscious aspects within us that we have not yet grasped in our daily lives but that nonetheless live within and influence us.

Finally, I would like to say that this is also fascinating. There is much we do not know about ourselves and the unconscious we carry with us. Again, this should not lead us too far astray into endless and unbalanced self-gazing, but be something we can spend some time on, especially in particularly challenging or significant periods of our lives.

Did this text make you more curious about the significance of dreams? Maybe you are already an experienced dream interpreter? Either way, if you are interested in this topic, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Peace!

Please note: This text above has been translated from the original Norwegian text which I have published below for my Norwegian readers. Most of my writing here on the blog is in English and therefore I also write the English texts myself without AI as help, but this time I took the easy road and asked ChatGPT to do the translation for me 🙂

(Extra note: If you are interested in learning more about Carl Jung and also dreams, you could also check out different groups on Facebook. Personally I would recommend a group on Facebook called “Carl Jung and the Creative Bridge”: https://www.facebook.com/groups/creativebridge This group has many members, but has been made private at the moment. You can easily become a member there, if you want to check it out.

Norwegian text follows here:

De siste få årene har jeg vært mer bevisst mine drømmer. Og derfor også vært opptatt av hva drømmene har å fortelle oss, og lære oss. Det perspektivet jeg har søkt å lære mer om i drømmetydningen har vært den jungianske forståelsen. Dette er en innsikt som er en del av arven etter psykoanalytikeren Carl Jung og som forklares og utdypes av andre jungianere, som en del av arbeidet for å tilgjengeliggjøre forståelsen for de som kan være interessert i dette.

Vi sover oss gjennom store deler av livene våre, rundt en tredjedel av tiden i hvert eneste døgn. Til sammen blir dette mange år av våre liv. Når vi sover jobber vår hjerne og sjel med våre tanker og følelser, og er også i kontakt med de ubevisste delene og aspektene av oss selv. I vårt daglig liv fremstår vi som personer med mer eller mindre tydelige identiteter, men mye av oss selv er dypest sett fremmed for andre, og faktisk også enda mer oss selv! Derfor blir det å forstå drømmene og arbeide med drømmene essensielt.

Drømmene våre er veier inn til det vi ikke vet og det vi ikke er bevisst. Kanskje har vi følelser og reaksjoner i det daglige livet vi lever som vi undrer oss over og ikke forstår. Og selv om det går en grense for hvor mye tid vi skal bruke på å tolke våre drømmer, så er det å overse dette, etter mitt skjønn, et stor tap. Så å bruke noe av vår våkne tid til å undre oss og reflektere over drømmer vi har tror jeg kan ha stor nytteverdig og hjelpe oss til både mer selvinnsikt og selvforståelse, og slik bidra til at vi vokser til å bli helere mennesker.

Jeg tror ikke det å velge «drømmens vei» og ofre tid på hva drømmer vil fortelle oss, er en enkel vei. Men det kan være en viktig vei og et viktig verktøy, ikke minst i enkelte faser og deler av vårt liv. Når vi møter murer og vegger vi ikke ser veier rundt, kan nettopp drømmene være deler av veiviserne. Men igjen, dette er ingen enkel kunst, og det å tolke og være overbevisst om at en har funnet den helt rette tolkningen, kan også lede oss feil.

Selv er jeg akkurat nå med i en diskusjonsgruppe hvor vi går gjennom en bok i jungiansk tradisjon, Inner Work, av Robert A. Johnson. Boka tar for seg mye av det grunnleggende som kan være bra å vite om drømmer, og hvordan en kan jobbe videre med drømmene også i våken tilstand, for så å finne mat for både tanker og kanskje ikke minst sjel, noe som møter de dypere lengsler og spørsmålet i sjelsdypet vårt og som kan hjelpe til å finne den næringen som også drømmer kan tilføre våre liv. Så hvis du skulle være interessert kan denne boka også være et sted å begynne for å lære mer.

Også det å finne noen å drøfte temaet sammen med, gjerne noe med mer kunnskap og erfaring om temaet, kan også være til god hjelp. Mange vil si at det å tolke sine egne drømmer er ikke en lett sak, og kan med fordel gjøres i samarbeid med en terapeut eller noen med innsikt i dette. Kanskje for blant annet å stille de gode spørsmålene og bidra i undringen over hva de ulike drømmene kan fortelle oss om det ubevisste i oss, som vi enda ikke har oversikt over i det livet vi lever i det daglige, men som likevel lever i oss og påvirker oss.

Til slutt vil jeg si at dette er også spennende. Det er mye vi ikke vet om oss selv og det ubevisste vi bærer med oss. Og igjen, dette må ikke dra oss for langt av sted og bli en eviglang og ubalansert selvstirring, men være noe vi kan bruke noe tid på, ikke minst i særlige krevende eller viktige perioder i våre liv.

Gjorde denne teksten deg mer nysgjerrig på drømmers betydning? Kanskje du allerede er en erfaren drømmertyder? Uansett, hvis du er interessert i dette temaet, del gjerne noe om dette i kommentarfeltet. Fred!

This

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This is what seeps and lurks in bones and veins
It is like a dark stare within me
At times it drives me far and wide
Sometimes drags me far too long and far away
What happened for it to be this way?

Also, it seems it is here to stay
Even the priest seems to like it this way
It drives us to pray and ask for forgiveness
Yet, I ask, is it truly gone?
Has it been here all along?

Sometimes heard as a distant echo
Other times felt as a tidal wave
This drives us often into action and reaction
Or even urges us to climb the ladder of fame
Same old, same old, I hear the wise man say

On the surface we often live our lives
Anger and bitterness can become lingering fumes
Blaming the other for what batters inside
As we walk the road of violence and abuse
the lurker within becomes our fuse

The preacher says, I am also made this terrible way
Giving his words, citing the verse, before he says,
Let’s repent from our ways
An easy way out, perhaps
Yet, often it leads to dismay
Most likely never meant to be easily fixed
this deep-seated pain felt from within

I sensed it this morning
I sensed it last night
It creates this experience of restless dismay
Yet, turning the lights on, I knew
Now I greet this guest that seems here to stay
I ask him, may you hit this vase until it cracks and shatters
Becoming whole, I found, is what matters
In growing old, you’ll strike your gold, as the wise man told

Beautiful Stardust

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I have been thinking it is time to do some writing for myself and for readers that may be interested in my reflections on the contemplative life and individuation. The last word, individuation (which is Jungian) was added to the blog topic title just recently because I realized that the blog is about both the contemplative life and individuation. And for me, those words and the experience of contemplation and individuation are closely related.

Contemplative lifestyle or contemplative ideas speak of values connected to silence, reflection, spiritual practices and personal growth. Individuation is for me all about growing as an individual, alone and together with others. I believe also a contemplative seeker might enjoy time by himself practicing silence in one way or the other. Reading, journaling, creating art are also often signs and needs of a contemplative heart.

These last couple of days I have been attending a conference for counselors in school and other areas. A lot of the focus has been on how to become better in including everyone, for example young people at school, and how we can be sensitive to other people in the way we speak and relate to them. Central topics there and in our times are also for example how to speak and relate respectfully and inclusive to LGBTQ+ persons including the younger generation in schools. For me this focus also speaks of individuation, a need we all have to become integrated and whole persons.

Whether you are among the minority or majority in one way or the other everyone needs to be treated with respect and love for who they say they are and who they are. As a Christian I am often discouraged by the way some Christians treat some people belonging to minorities, in particular when it comes to sexual orientation. Some Christians and others blame society and schools for teaching children the wrong ideas in this area, and they often defend these views very fervently and call them the only biblical views there are. This saddens me. I do think what we say some times when they believe they defend the Word of God, originates instead from our own fears and need for control.

I apologize for being so straightforward and maybe not all that contemplative? I believe that the person of a contemplative heart should or could be among the least to judge, yet some people find me judging them when I write the way I do today. I am sorry for that too. I do believe in love as the necessary bearer for a contemplative life and also the necessary catalyst for becoming individuated into our own person and the persons you and I are meant to be.

When I say love being the catalyst, I do also most firmly speak of selflove. If we grow in selflove I do believe we can face our own deepest shadows and fears more fully, so that we embrace more of the totality of ourselves. We are on a journey of integration of opposites within us, so we can make peace with ourselves. Out of this peace there can grow acceptance and openness towards others in all their variation.

Sometimes I think that those people that criticize others the most, also when it comes to sexual orientation, may be the ones that hasn’t been able to face their own shadows and demons. They are some times trying to hold the strong forces within at bay, sometimes also unconciously, and they are doing it by attacking other people, their choices and their ways of life. Remember Jesus criticized not seeing the log in our own eyes when we point at the (small) speck in others. This is a simple, yet profound truth, and should be reflected deeply upon (for example, ask ourselves (not always the Bible): what is it in me that reacts so strongly or need to hold such a strong opinion about something?).

For myself I think and feel that I am on this continuous journey of integration and individuation. I try to be myself now and hope for the future to be and become that person within me that is closest to the “true me” and my heart. I realize quite often that I have many things buried within and that I still need to do some digging and shadow integration. I do need to forgive myself for my wrongdoings and “wrongsayings” along my way too, yet I also trust that my failures will turn into wholeness and hopefully a deeper and deeper love, as I work on myself and “find” me (in contemplative silence, there can also be an experience of being found by Something Other and Greater than “me”).

I am now getting older but I am yet not done in my journey into wholeness. Since this process is life long (but has great leaps along the way), I normally won’t let this depress me, but mostly intrigue me and help me to live every day the best way I can. And I don’t so much want to be the socalled “best version of me”, I want to become and be the me I am meant to become and be!

Now I pray for you, as you have read this, that you will find truth within yourself and in God, truth to see who you are and who you are on your way to become and be. I pray that you will grow into more of the healthy selflove and self acceptance you need to shine and shine even brighter as you grow into the person and star you truly are. If you go back and read other texts and poems here, you will see I also speak of darkness and dark times. These are parts of the necessary suffering in life, sorry to say, to find your way in integration and individuation. To grow into wholeness is, in my mind, true holiness. And for Christians this can turn out to be the most Christian way to be!

Do also remember, friend, we are all beautiful stardust after all – peace and love to you!

PS! Scroll down to find other categories of texts and poems that may interest you.