Finding your true self

Another Call

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Narrow my window had become
I could barely breathe,
barely live in this or their temple
Then they closed it, window shut
I fell, I was lost
Trapped in the kingdom,
of the desperate and dying
What had been a small light,
now gone
I was nobody’s son

Soon lost at sea
Searching wherever
Seemed like I’d never
find new land
Monsters in the deep,
dragons in the sky
Fire burning,
a salamander’s torch
So thirsty

That’s when I saw the flicker,
from a distant lamp
Oil kept it going,
until my hand held the light
I suddenly saw all its might
It created a terrible fright
I would have to fight,
a wrestling for my life,
my own soul

The angel from the deep,
entered upon the land
Was it also a woman, was it man?
I couldn’t know
Yet the angel’s sword
bruised me in the dark
The wound bled red
I cried into the Silence,
and fell to my knees

It was a new beginning,
there on my knees
The red, bleeding wound
received a silent balm
I sensed fresh air, I could breathe
I saw a window open,
then all windows gone
My breathing got deep,
and I drank from a rich well
Everything opened

Oh day of glory,
when I could leave behind,
the barren land of agony
The principals were taken
When I woke up, like from a dream,
I was standing on my feet
Made new,
in the image of One,
I had now become

I sensed freedom
New adventures awaited
I was made for living after all
I sensed another call

Photo of Alnes in Norway: Punam Kumari

Undone

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I used to know everything
Now I don’t know any thing
I used to brag about this and that,
now I’m done with the fat clown

Until this day,
I’ve been lost in a darkness
I dared not admit

I wanted to live in a blaze of glory —
now I prefer the silence,
the creation,
through attentive listening

Unconvinced now of my rightness,
still thirsting for truth —
is what I know

Photo: Tove Hubak Fleischer

Got som help from ChatGPT just to structure the poem into stanzas and for some punctuation

Arrival of Beginning

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I sensed a sudden shift
I felt uplifted
And I was
My eyes still shut close
I felt a warm breeze
I sensed tears filling up,
behind the eyes’ curtains

I lifted my hands,
my body still resting on knees
I heard myself saying,
no please, no please
I felt a blow to my stomach,
and breathed out one full breath

I felt strange pain
Felt lifted again, yet heavy
No please, no please,
I heard myself plead
It wasn’t me,
but something else

Eyelids now cracked open,
waves of tears flowing
Out of my control
Again I suffered another heavy blow
Yet, soon pain was lifted
Crying turned to sobbing

Steps, almost too silent to hear
A breeze again, warm
I wasn’t alone in the garden
The breeze passed me
Abruptly, I stood up
Calling the visitor back

My feet now above the ground
A presence felt all around
A warmth, comforting
Soft tears, transformed
Again, a weight pushed me to my knees

A deep knocking
My hand on my chest
A vision of veins and deep red
What had me uplifted,
now sensed within
My lips curved upwards

I whispered,
it wasn’t me,
this, wasn’t me
Yet, it, was there,
within
I lingered, silent,
there, on my knees

 

Living

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It’s not a teaching
Definitely not,
a preaching
Really, it’s all,
about a living
Words,
can’t help you,
unless they grow,
from within

So get on with it,
start living,
and know,
you’ll find,
YOUR way
Then,
you’ll know,
your teaching,
and forget about,
the preaching,

Now you see,
like an eye healed,
from blindness,
a body healed, 
from paralysis,
all it is about:
You do your living,
and the rest,
is a becoming,
where you belong

Barføtt

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Du har den i deg
En barføtt danser
Med føtter som hopper
Armer som veiver
Fra topp til tå i bevegelse
En barføtt danser som bare må

Med og uten fast rytme
Kropp i full rotasjon
Kre-a-tivi-tet
En trang velter frem
til å leve DEG fullt ut
Barføtt vil han danse deg hjem

Han er der inne
I ditt indre vesen
I all sin ånd og kraft
Barføtt, glad og fri,
frir han nå til deg, og spør:
–Vil du danse? Barføtt? Nå?

Hide

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ai-generated-8797235_1280

Now I want to hide
To find refuge within
Away from words and ideas
Away from creed and certainty

I am even tired of myself
Too much out there
Not enough in here
Help me, because I have sinned

I chose image over truth
Now having seen my image,
I find I am done
I am coming home

Into myself, a place,
not crowded by words and deeds
Yet, a wide, deep, open space of You
Let me hide here, until,
You, are all there is

Blue Spark

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What if there is no other agenda,
than for you to find the real You
If only you could let down,
your guard, your mask, your pretense

What if there is true love to find,
in the divine connection within
Wrapped in shadows,
yet rich in gold and truth

What if you could learn from,
secrets whispered in the dark
Your eyes were meant to see,
more than what is seen without

Can you have trust,
in a darkness glowing, silence loud
Can you take the time
Can you handle the wait

You’re in for a surprise
A surprise of luminous light
It will be a joy of the deeper kind,
which flows from rich wells within

When you give up your former walk
When you stop your reasoning, your talk
When you listen and focus
In this liminal space, you’ll find the Blue Spark

And that is when it all begins…

Old Fart

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Hey you
Tired of your show
Words, words, words
Smells like an old fart

Now, tell me what you truly know
About life, pain and joy
You don’t need to set your self apart
To be above bar
Just be who you really are

Then, let’s walk into a life we share
Be with it, and not without
Ready are you now?
Nothing left to show?
Let’s go

Inner Beloved

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Here you are again
Nothing more to hide
Everything is out there, anyway
I am glad you are here, my friend

It is what it is
You know the truth
Yet, here you are again
There is still love, my friend

Never truly gone
Not even now, at the end
End of the darkest night
Here you are again, my friend

Ready to be surprised
Ready to be found
Ready to be received
Ready to be healed

This is the day
Yes, this, is, the day
It broke through
You, broke through, my friend

Love is stronger than death
It is here
At the end of the line
Love is here, my friend

Taking a hold of your heart
Healing what ripped you apart
You know pain
You will know, love, my friend…

…and you will be free