Once,
you called me and set me
on the top of the mountain
There I saw
the Indescribable Light
In this Light my soul would linger
But it was not the time
-Now, dear child, you must learn to walk Step down from the mountain you must Soon you will neither feel or see There will be darkness On the road to the Secret Place
På fjellet
En gang,
du kalte meg opp
på den høyeste tinde
Der fikk jeg se det
Ubeskrivelige lys
I det Lyset ville min sjel forbli
Men det var ikke dens tid
-Nå, kjære barn, må du lære å gå Stige ned fra fjellet du må Intet vil du snart føle eller se Det vil bli mørkt På veien til det Hemmelige sted
I like tall doors The wide ones too In particular beautifully decorated ones They are not there to make you feel small They stand tall just to remind you That when you are in awe Of their grandness and beauty That is only a mirror For the divine image in you If the thought of what is behind evokes fear The width and height are there to say, Fear not, I greet you Now open me, pass through I embrace all of you and I may even lead to something new
Come away now
Take a step back
You have been out too long
Take a breather
Breathe deep and slowly
It is so easily forgotten
You shine so brightly always
To transform darkness to light
You need to see yourself, yet also remember
Who you are
With me
Within and without
Be now
My child
Eat and rest
On Santorini I found the icon of my heart. I realised why it wouldn’t leave my heart until I got it. It is actually very well made by a Greek artist. It has beautiful colors, and in particular the red color of passion. I actually believe this version of Mary is called Mary of passion.
The icon was put only in a plastic bag when I got it. And I put it in my backpack where I kept it while on the beach of Kamari. I was surprised and saddened when I took the icon out and realised some spots of paint had loosened and were gone. You can actually see one of the white spots in the semicircle on Mary’s head cloth. It was sad because I think my lack of knowledge of how to treat icons actually caused the damage to the icon. The white spot also stands out, and it is difficult to unfocus your eyes from it once you have really noticed it. Yet, I must only tell myself, that the icon is still very beautiful even if it is a bit broken.
Now I also got all these revelations when thinking about the broken icon. It is like some of the sadness, but also the love I see in the faces of Jesus and Mary, has touched my heart, and connected me to this sadness and passionate love. All this really reminds me of why I like icons so much and why they have such an effect on me. It is about the feelings they convey and reveal. They touch some deep place within me and reveal to me hidden truths that I need to feel and know.
The icon is a bit broken and I have to accept that. Still, when it is broken it doesn’t necessarily make it less beautiful. Maybe the icon is telling me, that when something is broken, it still represents wholeness and beauty, and maybe even more so, in the broken state. If the icon can reveal beauty in its brokeness, so can you and I.
Of course it is easy to become a bit too romantic here, but still the message of things shining in their broken beauty, is a beautiful truth. The white spot of missing paint is there, right in your face and the icon cannot hide its broken part. Isn’t this what we all know to be true, that when we share our brokeness with someone and when we are honest about what feels missing in ourselves, that is when real healing and freedom can happen?
I encourage you to spend a few minutes looking at this icon now. What thoughts, and maybe just as important, what feelings reveal themselves to you while you are looking at the beautiful icon of Jesus and Mary, with some white spots of missing paint? Maybe the white spots reveal something to you too?
What do I really know? Living my life with all the benefits of material welfare and good health.
I have been pondering this question. What do I really know about life? About true spirituality? Even, what do I truly know about love? I think the answer is quite clear, actually. It really is, that I hardly know anything.
Before I have tasted real hardship, deep suffering and great poverty, what can I really say about life? At least, how can I really give any advice? Is my life really an example to inspire a following? How self-focused am I not in my own search for peace?
How self-judgemental you are today you might say. What is this downplay of my own worth and significance about? Let me rephrase myself.
I am reminded by the sayings of Jesus on the Mount. He pronounced the blessedness of the poor in spirit and wealth. He also later proclaimed his mission of setting people free. The knowing of truth will set you free, he proclaimed. There you go, the knowing of truth will set you free!
So, really asking the questions that point to the truth of my reality, that may be a wise way to go about it. If it leads you to a greater self knowledge at least, it may also lead you to a renewed humility in life. And even a greater thankfullness.
Today I am writing this to all the “privileged” in this world. Yet, I can really only ask myself again. What can I say about true love and true spirituality? Yes, what do I really know? I guess, I can only try to help myself to find the right path. And hopefully I can befriend others, rich or poor in one way or the other, and walk alongside them on their own path to deeper knowing of the mystery and love.
Those days we walked hand in hand We lived each day in the moment We rested when needed And we rose with the sun
Now those days are a memory of beauty The treasure of a lifetime When you fell away I lost my world Yet in the grieving I found a deeper love I would have never known if not
Now I sense your presence It is a unity from within And when the sun is setting I not only remember Now I know
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Rather than letting what you are doing be the first and most important, you can find nourishment in your own inner being. May you continue to behold and be beholden by this inner strength. As you accept the pain and tragedy of being human may you also find peace and depth in the Love growing from within yourself.
Now when you are looking for what to do, what to give and to be, may you trust this Love within yourself. This Love was the first gift to you.
You can now experience this Love, this grace, this hope. In this you truly belong. In this you find and create meaning. No matter what.
A Contemplative Life 