I am enduring a tension
within myself
awaiting and longing for
the birth of
something new
–
I am embracing all parts
the light and the dark
I see more now
Yet I am blind to
what is still to become
–
I am drinking from
solitude
Soul arises from within
I trust the waiting
He is sitting in the deep forest
Looking at three big bookcases towering towards the sky
Suddenly the left bookcase starts trembling
It crashes head down into the forest’s floor making the other cases fall
He has escaped to this hill nearby
Just in time before great waves of water flood the place
The great bookcases are lost in the water
He escaped it together with her
They are standing there on this hill above the water
The water rises and suddenly currents overcome him
She is standing there as a pillar at the top of the hill
Not taken by the tumultuous waters
The currents and waves of water bring him to the side of the hill
And then down on the side
Down
Down
Down
At an ever increasing speed
She is still standing firmly on the hill
Waters all around but she is not overcome
He is lost down on the side
Brought down by a river of tremendous power
His world has fallen
Now only the deep waters know
What is to come
And what role she is to play
In my soul there is a room that opens doors into my eyes, body and senses. Often I sense a hushing of a wind. I also hear a quiet whisper of a beautiful voice.
Yet this is not all.
If I sit in a restful quietness these voices, hushings and whisperings turn into complete silence. Beautiful they are.
But now no thing is happening.
Everything waits.
As I sit.
In silence.
My senses, body and eyes grow accustomed to the silence.
Soon I rise and walk.
Out into this life of every thing.
Suddenly something starts rising within.
I almost feel like singing or jumping for joy.
Because everywhere I am looking and sensing I see and hear transferring and transforming from deepest within.
The beautiful singing of a new morning.
I am contemplating living from the center. By center I mean living from your true self as some like to call it. You may also call it the Seat of Self. It is the center were mystics of all religions and spiritual traditions meet. This center is what helps me “see” that I as a Christian have a lot in common with a Sufis and a Kabbalists. Even though there are many things I don’t know about those other traditions.
I think it is very helpful for people at different stages in their lives to truly see and find their center. This center which can be found within us, is something other than our ego, thoughts and feelings. The more we live from this center and “look out” from it, the more we realise what’s important in our lives and relationships. When we relate to ourselves in this way, it helps us accept and relate to others and the world in a calmer and more genuine and even forgiving way.
I have chosen this image above for many reasons. First of all, and reason enough in itself, was that I found it very beautiful. Secondly, I liked the way the flower was darker on its edges and brighter in the center. It works as a symbol for the spiritual life, yes even as a symbol for the human life. Living through our darkness reveals to us more and more what we need to see to truly live from our hearts, our deepest selves.
Living in the darkness of one of those flower petals can be a terrible experience. The petal is great as well, so can the dark times be. For some these darker times become dark nights of senses and the soul, as John of the Cross wrote so fervently about.
In Buddhism I believe there are expressions like bright darkness or luminous darkness. And even as a Christian I think that is a beautiful description. What seems to be the darkest of night may reveal healing truths so night is transformed into the brightest of day. After the deepest darkness there can be an experience of great light, even joy and bliss.
I believe that if more people started to practice sitting in silence or for example practice centering prayer, they would eventually find and see the beautiful truth of living from center, or living from a different center than we normally do. That is, living from our deepest Self, which is Love, instead of our ego and very often reactive feelings and thoughts.
If you were to lay aside the thoughts and feelings stirring for a few minutes in silence during your day, this may be very difficult, but yet you may also be in for a beautiful surprise. But beware, you may have to pass through long stretches of darkness, sorrow and pain, to find this bright shining Light! For the darkness is always luminous. Blessings to you on your journey!
Lost outside
Not the way
The Sacred within
Has always been
Yet also is
Let outside rest
Reach within
To find
Be found
The Sacred within
A Contemplative Life 