I used to know everything
Now I don’t know any thing
I used to brag about this and that,
now I’m done with the fat clown
Until this day,
I’ve been lost in a darkness
I dared not admit
I wanted to live in a blaze of glory —
now I prefer the silence,
the creation,
through attentive listening
Unconvinced now of my rightness,
still thirsting for truth —
is what I know
Photo: Tove Hubak Fleischer
Got som help from ChatGPT just to structure the poem into stanzas and for some punctuation
I sensed a sudden shift
I felt uplifted
And I was
My eyes still shut close
I felt a warm breeze
I sensed tears filling up,
behind the eyes’ curtains
I lifted my hands,
my body still resting on knees
I heard myself saying,
no please, no please
I felt a blow to my stomach,
and breathed out one full breath
I felt strange pain
Felt lifted again, yet heavy
No please, no please,
I heard myself plead
It wasn’t me,
but something else
Eyelids now cracked open,
waves of tears flowing
Out of my control
Again I suffered another heavy blow
Yet, soon pain was lifted
Crying turned to sobbing
Steps, almost too silent to hear
A breeze again, warm
I wasn’t alone in the garden
The breeze passed me
Abruptly, I stood up
Calling the visitor back
My feet now above the ground
A presence felt all around
A warmth, comforting
Soft tears, transformed
Again, a weight pushed me to my knees
A deep knocking
My hand on my chest
A vision of veins and deep red
What had me uplifted,
now sensed within
My lips curved upwards
I whispered,
it wasn’t me,
this, wasn’t me
Yet, it, was there,
within
I lingered, silent,
there, on my knees
What if there is no other agenda,
than for you to find the real You
If only you could let down,
your guard, your mask, your pretense
What if there is true love to find,
in the divine connection within
Wrapped in shadows,
yet rich in gold and truth
What if you could learn from,
secrets whispered in the dark
Your eyes were meant to see,
more than what is seen without
Can you have trust,
in a darkness glowing, silence loud
Can you take the time
Can you handle the wait
You’re in for a surprise
A surprise of luminous light
It will be a joy of the deeper kind,
which flows from rich wells within
When you give up your former walk
When you stop your reasoning, your talk
When you listen and focus
In this liminal space, you’ll find the Blue Spark
And that is when it all begins…
Looking at the starlit sky
I exclaimed, it must be God
Not necessarily so, you quickly replied
The starlit sky crashed down
My heart sank
I broke
Yet, it was a new beginning
Jeg har som nevnt en venn. Han sa nok en gang noen kloke ord: “Det skjønneste en kan undre seg til, er visdom”.
Jeg har en venn som sa: “Å leve kontemplativt, det er å undre seg. Det holder det…for da er du åpen…”
A Contemplative Life 