#Knowing

Norwegian winter landscape

I believe in a knowing that you can experience more and more by listening to the small voice within and by walking the path set before you. This is most likely a path that at times will bring confusion and despair, but also hope, love and grace.

There are ways for you to grow from being governed by your ego to being more and more guided, led and held by this inner knowing. The poet Rilke once wrote or said “the only journey is the journey within”. In a way he is right, but in another way he is also wrong, that is if his words are taken too literally. I truly believe in the jorney within as a journey we are called to take, especially in the afternoon of life. Richard Rohr writes about the first and second half of life in his wise book “Falling Upward”. When I say that understood too literally the words from Rilke can be “wrong”, I mean that there is always a need for balance. We need to look both outside and inside.

For me going cross-country skiing or hiking in the mountains are great ways to observe beautiful landscapes and God’s magnificent creation outside myself. At the same time these seemingly outside-yourself-experiences are also inner experiences. The beauty that I see resonates with something deep within me. What I see outside and around me becomes something that connects with and gives birth to a knowing within me. So, the journey within is in a way the most important, but we also need to contemplate the beauty outside to experience a connection to our inner life and to spirit.

It is true what Augustin said “my soul is restless until it finds its rest in you”. As we grow up spiritually and connect with God’s spirit and our deepest self within we find a knowing and also a rest.

All of us have different life stories. Some have experienced very close and loving relationships when they were children and just beginners on their journeys. Others have experienced more troublesome childhoods, loneliness and a lack of true love and embrace. All of us have our own journeys to take. For some it may take many years to grow into this deeper knowing. Some also have to go through therapy to get there.

No matter what, I believe in this deeper knowing which becomes an intuitive knowledge of eternal truths and a knowing of true love. The knowing you experience makes dogmas less important and even less true, because truths that we know within are often simple and universal. The first and most universal truth I think, is that the universe is filled with love. We as well as the whole universe are created out of love. We are created and also placed in this world by a Love.

What about all the pain and suffering you say? Where is this love that you are talking about? For myself, life has noe been an easy walk either. All I can say today, I see you. Yes, there is great suffering and pain in this world. Yes, there is great pain and loneliness in our and other people’s lives. Still I believe that the deeper knowing we can experience is a knowing that tells us about a Love, a Love greater than anything else.

Let us just leave it at that today. Know that you are loved by Love, and knowledge of this Love can also become part of your inner knowing!

Feel free to comment!

The Lonely Road Into Solitude

I think the contemplative path can be a lonely road. When you are realizing that dogmas you once believed in are no longer very important and when you really see that the ego is not your most true self you (or your ego?) can experience the feeling of loss. Also the experience that people around you are not on the same page and that words are not sufficient when you try to explain makes it difficult to experience true fellowship. Yes, I truly believe that the contemplative road can be lonely.

Still, I also believe, that when you have started walking the contemplative and silent path, there is no turning back. I believe that the contemplative path is a path where you seek oneness with a God that is just as much within as without. You have moved your center from head to heart and you will never want to go back to your former understanding. You have found something that have changed your way of seeing, and you know that you are on the road to truth. And eventually truth sets free. I also believe that this, at times loney road, is a road that leads to a solitude where your heart can truly rest and truly know that all there is, is love. And now you see that you and all of creation is embraced by this Love.

Spirit within and without

Spirit

Spirit You live within me

Spirit You are truth

Spirit to You I connect

Spirit You make me aware

Spirit within and without

Spirit all around

In You I live and have my being

To be in and aware of Spirit

Is to be free

No answers? Deconstructing?

I share a part of a poem I wrote some time ago (minor changes and restructuring before publishing). Maybe the poem is about a time of deconstruction? When we experience what some would call a time of deconstruction the hope is that later there will be a time of new construction. Richard Rohr writes about the universal pattern of order, disorder and reorder (https://cac.org/the-universal-pattern-2020-08-09/). We may have to go through times of suffering, deconstruction and disorder. But when this happens we are also given a chance to give up old ways of living or thinking, in order to experience new growth and freedom in our lives.

EMPTY (part one)

I am empty

At least I feel so

This is a dark time

A time when it is very difficult to see

I feel almost nothing

Just a hollow pain inside

I am saddened

By my lack of love for self and others

I feel empty

For how long have I been emptied

Hardly any joy

I can not force it any more

Will I go crazy

Or will I become free

I don’t know now

Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow

I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through

But I will remind myself

That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared

On the cross he also felt completely lost

And away from his Father’s love

I do not know

But I want to trust

Rather than giving up on life

I give up walking in my own strength

Without feeling anything

I let go of my answers and ideas

Because now I have none

Westworld

Westworld

Longing for Westworld

My true home

Where my source is

Longing for The River within

To flow freely

True life

Longing for The Divine

To be with The Beloved

In Love’s embrace

Mother and my Loneliness

Mother and son (hope)

I guess I have let her carry my loneliness all this time

Now she has been taken ill and hardly remembers herself and me

Crying and a lot of tears

I have to carry my own loneliness now

I have to own it myself

Part of being human is also the experience of loneliness

A longing for true union with man and God

Now I carry this loneliness of mine

I have taken it back from her

This is not her burden anymore

Maybe I am also better at carrying my own burden now

Thank you for carrying it for so long

For making life bearable also in the darkest of times

Now I will continue this journey through loneliness on my own

Embracing my loneliness

My longing for union

Sometimes I will be carrying her

Silent Truth

Truth

Truth is revealed in silence

Truth is received in silence

Truth lives in the silence within

Truth will find its way when you listen

Truth asks you to be true to yourself

Truth will be revealed when needed

Truth is revealed in silence

Truth is to be trusted and received

Truth helps you to let go of what is not true

Truth eventually creates freedom

Truth grows from within

Truth is revealed in silence

Silent Truth