Again, you are diving,
into the darkness,
of these deep waters
Secrets to be found,
wisdom to be revealed, yes,
even the purpose of your heart
The ground beneath you shaking,
down you fall, now in spell,
no words to tell them all
Takes its time, journey in the dark,
to the place where you find,
your fuller story
Thinking everything is lost,
yet time will clear your sight,
again your face will shine so bright
He is sitting in the deep forest
Looking at three big bookcases towering towards the sky
Suddenly the left bookcase starts trembling
It crashes head down into the forest’s floor making the other cases fall
He has escaped to this hill nearby
Just in time before great waves of water flood the place
The great bookcases are lost in the water
He escaped it together with her
They are standing there on this hill above the water
The water rises and suddenly currents overcome him
She is standing there as a pillar at the top of the hill
Not taken by the tumultuous waters
The currents and waves of water bring him to the side of the hill
And then down on the side
Down
Down
Down
At an ever increasing speed
She is still standing firmly on the hill
Waters all around but she is not overcome
He is lost down on the side
Brought down by a river of tremendous power
His world has fallen
Now only the deep waters know
What is to come
And what role she is to play
I am empty
At least I feel so
This is a dark time
A time when it is very difficult to see
I feel almost nothing
Just a hollow pain inside
I am saddened
By my lack of love for self and others
I feel empty
For how long have I been emptied
Hardly any joy
I can not force it any more
Will I go crazy
Or will I become free
I don’t know now
Only that there is a deep hollow sorrow
I can not necessarily spiritualize what I am going through
But I will remind myself
That Jesus had to drink the cup he feared
On the cross he also felt completely lost
And away from his Father’s love
I do not know
But I want to trust
Rather than giving up on life
I give up walking in my own strength
Without feeling anything
I let go of my answers and ideas
Because now I have none
The story of Daniel in the Lion’s den came to my mind today. It spoke to me about all the dangers, problems, sicknesses that we can experience in our lives. No one (at least not the unbelievers) believed that Daniel would survive the experience being thrown to the hungry lions. But we know how the story goes and how God protected Daniel in this time of crisis. God even made the lions calm so that Daniel’s fear could be lessened.
If Daniel was a real human, which I believe he was, he probably experienced some fear being in the cave seemingly unprotected and surrounded by a very real danger. Or maybe Daniel was one of those who was not so afraid because his trust in the Creator of life had grown so much over time, that he just knew that he would be brought through this valley of darkness?
I think Daniel knew in his heart, that what was with him was bigger and stronger than anything, and any situation. But I am not fan of presenting simple solutions to great problems, and I apologize if that is how you read this text. But hopefully these words can give some consolation and comfort to you whatever your life circumstances are.
I believe it takes quite some time, yes maybe years of experience, to develop the trust Daniel had. So if you (like me some times!) can not feel calm and can not stop worrying about your or some other people’s situation it can still be helpful to know that God is bigger than any situation and that somehow He will bring you through the dark times.
And while you are experiencing that darkness, pain, problem, sickness, suffering, like Daniel in the lion’s den and many before and after him, yes even Jesus in Gethsemane and on the cross, you can remind yourself that God is present there with you, and that one day (and maybe sooner than you think), God will light up your way and renew your joy!
I am not trying to say that if your in great pain and suffering that you can just believe and God will fix everything just like that. If you are experiencing a lot of pain and suffering in your life I also recommend that you reach out to someone that can listen to you, help you and be there with you. Often we need help from others, at times even also professional help. God has put other people there to be of help to you!
I believe that God can and will bring us through our suffering (and that we can even grow from it!), but often He asks us to be the ones helping and supporting other people in their difficult times. So ask yourself, who can I reach out to today?
If you somehow found this post interesting or helpful and would like to be notified when knew posts are out, you can send an email to sveinboerge@hotmail.com. Also feel free to comment here on the blog or send me feedback by email.
Be blessed!
A Contemplative Life 