24 Hour Hermit

pexels-adriaan-greyling-754268

Sunday morning

Alone at the cottage

Alone with myself

God and the wind

Got here last night

Tired and frustrated

Discouraged

I have wounded and been wounded

Had some baggage with me

Very tired

Feeling accused

Need to sort these feelings out

Longing for connection

Feeling betrayed and criticized

Not able to live up to others’ expectations

Neither my own

Longing for friendship

Fellowship

Space to breathe in

A need for passion

For now I am in hiding

From everyone and everything

Yet not from God

Not from myself

Tears build up and escape

In waves

I sense a change

Maybe I am just getting more tired

Some people prefer speed and action

To me relationships come first

Some people love the doing

I am more into human being

I hear the wind howling

It is raining

The Fall has fallen

I am ready to pray

I cry out to the Lord

My God and Creator

The One who loves me

Calls me their Beloved

You my God

I thank you because you see

You see us in our existence

You see us in our wilderness

You experience our joy

Our pain

Longing and sorrow

Allways there

I live with You

You live in me

I breathe your life

My innermost is You

In our deepest longing

You are there

Deep within us

And all around

You who lives in all

Given us all your life

I call upon you

Longing to be near you

The rain is hammering

Good to be inside

Alone

Yet together

My God is here

The Divine

My all my life

My call

I desire guidance

To live from within

I am ready

Now

The rain stops

It is silent

Very silent

I am in the waiting

Times of Transformation

Butterfly

Keeping a journal can be a good thing, both as a helpful tool in your own processes and also as words and sentences to reread later, when you have moved on, and understand your writing from a new and different perspective.

In rereading my own journals I some times find nuggets of wisdom and also description of a life I later see that I have grown through.

In particularly difficult times when the road ahead is very unclear, when the struggle in a day is almost to hard to bear, that’s when I become poetic. I guess it’s because poetic language is open, there is more of of imagination and feelings than clarity of mind.

Later, in rereading some of these more poetic reflections and wanderings, I find glimpses of poems, words and sentences that now speak to me in another, deeper and also clearer way. What I earlier only got in glimpses and wrote in imaginative and poetic language, I am now more able to describe in precise prose.

The reason it’s a different experience looking back and reread old words and poems journaled in dark times, is because life now tells me I made it through. What a blessing that is, when you see that the dark times, no matter how dark they were, brought forth new light in your life! This is because the difficult days were times of transformation.

The next few poems and posts that I will share in the days to come, will be some glimpses from some of these darker times. I share them in the hope they may speak to your heart as well, since in being human we often share the same or similar experience.

It would warm my heart if you would share at times which words express something you are going through or have experienced. I would love to hear from some of my readers in the days to come. And please, if there is something in particular you find to your liking, please share the post with some of your friends. I hope the future posts will be small blessings to some people out there, in the big and often lonely world we all live in. Be blessed.

In order to experience the joy

you need to accept the sadness

In order to be filled you need

to know you are empty