Rohr

Overflowed by Life

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At the beach yesterday I witnessed the image above of stones and overflowing waters. Tumultuous waves were overcoming solid ground. Rohr (Falling Upwards, great book!) speaks and talks about a lever to stand. The lever is needed at different times in our lives. Some times outer pressure or inner turmoil are overwhelming. It feels like drowning.

I’ve been through times like the mentioned above on several occasions. Last not so long ago. I lost my zest for life and had no drive or motivation. It felt like I was overcome and lost, as in my last poem here, “I gave up and gave in”.

If you have read the whole poem though you have realized I have yet to draw my last breath, and gracefully things ended on a good note. I am meant to live and there’s still meaning and renewed meaning to be found in life, mine included. But for a long time it felt like the image above. Out of control, with no escape in going through the pain and darkness. Part of the reason for my troubles were great grief in my life, since I have slowly been losing my mother to early dementia. There has been other things too, among those an earnest search for truth and the deep desire for love and union with Spirit.

So if you’re experiencing grief and outer and/or more inner turmoil, know that I have been there. Hell is not a place in a God-willed afterlife. God’s love is for all, it upholds us all, whether we recognize it or not. Hell is also at times circumstances here on Earth, whether it is outer war and suffering, or inner turmoil and loneliness deep within. Fortunately, at the same time, heaven, God, God’s kingdom are also here on Earth, all around us and deep within each and everyone. This includes you, no exceptions. I also do believe with Rob Bell, that Love Wins (book recommended!). If that makes me an universialist, I am guilty of the “heresy”.

The Spirit of Christ lives within us and our bodies groan for freedom and union for eternity. Happily, this is something to be embraced and experienced in the now, if only in glimpses. Can you sense your inner Spirit calling you? Are you overwhelmed by the life you have lived so far? Maybe what we need when there is no solid ground to be found, is a surrender to the great vast Ocean? At least a surrender to the River within that Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman.

Now I dream of new projects and a future for contemplation in my country and across the globe. I connect with what Rahner supposedly has said, that the future Christian is a mystic. I truly believe that. I want to be among them. I do think more and more people will see and find the path of contemplation. Nothing else than contemplating the mystery of the Divine and beholding and experiencing its beauty can satisfy our hunger. Would you like to join me on this often messy but also blessed journey?

Blessings on your day and your further travel – never forget you truly are the beloved of the Great Lover! Even more, when darkness leaves you blinded.

Christ is all in all

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Christ is all in all

“Christ is all in all” (Colossians 3,11)

I am reading the latest news and finding information that a contemplative Pentecostal brother is being evicted from the site of his religious community. Having grown up in the Pentecostal movement this saddens me greatly. All the thumbs up for this from fellow Christians scare and sadden me even more. The Pentecostal movement in Sweden and Norway is in great need of ecumenical work and broader perspectives. This is a huge step back. And a step back sadly supported by many.

I believe this is a great mistake, but it is also understandable why this is happening. When religious practice seems strange and foreign it can be very easy to dismiss, yes, even name it the devil’s work. Someone actually commented on this brother’s practice as the work of the devil. That’s how far it goes.

But when something is a bit strange and foreign to the classic Pentecostal believer it does not mean the teaching or practice is evil. We must realize that we understand some of the things that are related to and connected to our background and upbringing, while many other things are probably far better understood by others. Sometimes we need to listen, listen and listen before we discern and distinguish, but never judge or condemn. The shadow is great in many people’s lives, and many is stuck in first-half-of-life-thinking (read Rohrs book “Falling Upward”).

This is what it is about, I think, it’s a clash of first- and second-half-of-life-thinking. It is a clash of black and white thinking and the contemplative mind and heart. I’ve tried to comment on this case on Facebook among a lot of judgmental messengers. It’s seems it is in vain, so I just had to write a blog post about this.

Now, I silently pray, God lead us into your unity of grace and love. God, lead us into the love of all brothers and sisters, the insiders and the outsiders, those we do not understand. Help us, Gracious Lord, to embrace our own shadow, and see that what we fear from and in others is what we need to embrace in ourselves. Lead us, Pentecostals and this brother in and through the darkness. Peace.

#Knowing

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Norwegian winter landscape

I believe in a knowing that you can experience more and more by listening to the small voice within and by walking the path set before you. This is most likely a path that at times will bring confusion and despair, but also hope, love and grace.

There are ways for you to grow from being governed by your ego to being more and more guided, led and held by this inner knowing. The poet Rilke once wrote or said “the only journey is the journey within”. He is both right, and wrong. Wrong if his words are taken too literally. I truly believe in the journey within as a journey we are called to take, especially in the afternoon of life. Richard Rohr inspired by Jung writes about the first and second half of life in his wise book “Falling Upward”. When I say that understood too literally the words from Rilke can be “wrong”, I mean that there is always a need for balance. We need to look both outside and inside.

For me going cross-country skiing or hiking in the mountains are great ways to observe beautiful landscapes and God’s magnificent creation outside myself. At the same time these seemingly outside-yourself-experiences are also inner experiences. The beauty that I see resonates with something deep within me. What I see outside and around me connects with and gives birth to a knowing within me. So, the journey within is in a way the most important, but we also need to contemplate the beauty outside to experience a connection to our inner life and to spirit.

It is true what Augustin said “my soul is restless until it finds its rest in you”. As we grow up spiritually and connect with God’s spirit and our deepest self within we find a knowing and also a rest.

All of us have different life stories. Some have experienced very close and loving relationships when they were children and just beginners on their journeys. Others have experienced more troublesome childhoods, loneliness and a lack of true love and embrace. All of us have our own journeys to take. For some it may take many years to grow into this deeper knowing. Some also have to go through therapy to get there.

No matter what, I believe in this deeper knowing which becomes an intuitive knowledge of eternal truths and a knowing of true love. The knowing you experience makes dogmas less important and even less true, because truths that we know within are often simple and universal. The first and most universal truth I think, is that the universe is filled with love. We as well as the whole universe are created out of love. We are created and also placed in this world by a Love.

What about all the pain and suffering you say? Where is this love that you are talking about? For myself, life has noe been an easy walk either. All I can say today, I see you. Yes, there is great suffering and pain in this world. Yes, there is great pain and loneliness in our and other people’s lives. Still I believe that the deeper knowing we can experience is a knowing that tells us about a Love, a Love greater than anything else.

Let us just leave it at that today. Know that you are loved by Love, and knowledge of this Love can also become part of your inner knowing!

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