
Amnesia now
Still blind
Before silence grow
Amnesia gone
Let go
Before ego show
Amnesia now
Still blind
Before silence grow
Amnesia gone
Let go
Before ego show
Open my heart wide, so I may see
Open my heart wide, so I may let go
Open my heart wide, so I may know
You, my Lover and Love
Help me bow down deeply, so I may drink
Help me stretch far, so I may pluck
Help me sit down quietly, so I may dine
Last, help me walk gently, so I may bless
With You, my Lover and Love
Now and forever
A friend once said to me, “all you need is to wonder”. I do believe it is important to wonder about life, be curious and to ask questions. As I grow older, I sometimes think I know less and less. At the same time, I believe in what Jesus said, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. But again, what is really true or really the truth? Maybe the a truth is that there is so much we will not know on this side of eternity, that by accepting that as true, this will lead to us the experience of greater freedom in life?
Still, I do believe we need silence and contemplation in our lives in order to find truth, in ourselves, in our relations and experiences. So many of us are running from one thing to another. So many of us spend hours upon hours in front of screens, whether it is the computer screen, mobile or tv. It is so easy to become trapped and addicted, if we don’t make the extra effort to choose wisely how we spend our time.
A teacher once said that young people today can’t concentrate for longer than the duration of a Tik-Tok-video. This may be an extreme statement, but it is also partly true. We probably have to accept that the world has become a lot more digital, and of course digital tools can be helpful, and they have also helped us especially in these Corona times. But I do believe we are in danger of partly losing our souls and becoming more superficial if we don’t take the time just BEING without too many distractions, and if we don’t prioritize to spend time in silence and contemplation.
To be continued…
There is a Source
I call it The Great Within
It gives life and wisdom
It can be like
A Great Storm or
A Still Small Voice
This is the Great Within
It manifests in the silence of each moment
I woke up this morning worrying. Worrying about some things I can not or should not do anything about at the moment. It must wait.
This wait can also be a good thing. Since by waiting my feelings may get some necessary time to calm down. Then I can get some time to do some real thinking if needed, when I am more rested and not stressed out.
This wait can also be a chance to practice trust and surrender. Sometimes humans, at least I can speak for myself, try to control everything. Every thing must be this way or that way, yes, every thing needs to be perfect.
For myself, growing up with not enough acceptance for anger and frustration, it can still be difficult to handle feelings that come up. The feelings are often very strong. I guess I have not been used to being able to express negative feelings, so this is still difficult at times, being afraid that it won’t be acceptable, and that I will be rejected.
Deep inside, at times hidden for no one to see, sometimes even hidden to ourselves, we are feeling insecure and have this need to be embraced and completely accepted for who we are.
Not being able to express the full range of my emotions and feelings when I were younger has interfered with my ability to feel completely secure today, and has also made me, both consciously and uncounciusly, afraid of making mistakes.
Still, in the midst of all worry and fear of making or being responsible for mistakes, I feel a great energy for living and doing good. Not the perfect kind of good, but good, as in being someone to be trusted, a someone with hopefully some wisdom and at least enough empathy to be of some help to others. Nouwen’s expression that we can be “wounded healers” resonates with me.
I mentioned the wait I give myself when worrying tries to take over. The wait I give myself when I know worrying is of no use and know as the holy book says that worrying can not add any length to my life (Matthew 6:27). Much worrying does not benefit us at all. But the wait can be beneficial.
The wait can be a chance to surrender. A chance to say to God “hey, you know everything, you know my heart, you know the good stuff and the bad stuff, yes you know everything…but now I give it all to you!”. This simple prayer can be the beginning of a quite time of surrender. Imagine surrendering everything to the Creator of the Universe!?
I know this is so, so much easier said than done. Trust me, I do know! But that does not make it less true or even less possible. I believe in the practice of surrender. And being silent before the Great Divine. I believe in Christ within us, that can become our lives, so that we may live through him. I believe in the acceptance of all emotions and feelings, but also in the denial and surrender of the ego, and in the trust in the Christ within. I can, and you can, surrender and give everything to the One that gave us life. I mean, surrender every thing!
I remember reading a book (by the way I have not been sponsored to say this) called The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer. Here he tells a story of surrendering to life, I would say Life with a capital L. He is not sugarcoating life, but he is telling an honest story about his company and later also the development of a spiritual center. And he is telling of difficulties he met, even a time spent in court. Still, through all this, he practiced surrender. A surrender to life.
I believe in the wait and the surrender. I believe in the silence and in the trust. I believe we can be still, and know, truly know there is a God (Psalm 46:10). A God that knows our heart and also our sin and failures. Surrender does not mean that you are excempt from taking action or doing what you can do. But surrender is a place to start and restart when life feels, really feels, overwhelming.
So, I believe there can be trust and encouragment in sitting down or going for a walk, crying out, and then maybe also in the divine silence you may be, though maybe weakly, able to surrender to the One that cares for you, for all, the Giver of Life.
Feel free to comment!
PS! Remember surrendering to a God that to you may seem invisible can be really difficult. We need to be around people and also nature, that point to and practice this love, and in who and which also God lives (the panentheistic not pantheistic worldview). So also remember to reach out to someone you can trust when you are experiencing difficulties and worry. And also reach out to those you may think are going through hardship. We “are” Christ in this world.
I think the contemplative path can be a lonely road. When you are realizing that dogmas you once believed in are no longer very important and when you really see that the ego is not your most true self you (or your ego?) can experience the feeling of loss. Also the experience that people around you are not on the same page and that words are not sufficient when you try to explain makes it difficult to experience true fellowship. Yes, I truly believe that the contemplative road can be lonely.
Still, I also believe, that when you have started walking the contemplative and silent path, there is no turning back. I believe that the contemplative path is a path where you seek oneness with a God that is just as much within as without. You have moved your center from head to heart and you will never want to go back to your former understanding. You have found something that have changed your way of seeing, and you know that you are on the road to truth. And eventually truth sets free. I also believe that this, at times loney road, is a road that leads to a solitude where your heart can truly rest and truly know that all there is, is love. And now you see that you and all of creation is embraced by this Love.
Truth is revealed in silence
Truth is received in silence
Truth lives in the silence within
Truth will find its way when you listen
Truth asks you to be true to yourself
Truth will be revealed when needed
Truth is revealed in silence
Truth is to be trusted and received
Truth helps you to let go of what is not true
Truth eventually creates freedom
Truth grows from within
Truth is revealed in silence
Silent Truth
Themes that I have been pondering for some time now have been thinking, silence, inner life, longing and the experience of God in our lives. A few years ago I had a kind of awakening that changed my perspectives completely and transformed my understanding. It had to do with the understanding of my thinking mind.
Gradually I started believing and then realizing that I was not my thoughts. This meant that my truest being was not to be found in my head or in the thoughts of my mind. I realized that the “me” observing my mind’s thinking was closer to my deepest self. Instead of letting thoughts define me and everything, I could step back and watch and observe “my” thinking.
Realizing I were not my thoughts was a deeply freeing experience. So for me this newfound knowledge became one of the keys to my heart and my further journey on my quest to know truth and experience God.
This fall I have started more seriously to practice times of silence especially in the mornings before I go to work or start my day. This I believe is another key that can open doors into my heart and open myself to the very life of God within me.
Some Christians experience fear and may worry that some of us are too influenced by other religions, like Hinduism and Buddhism. For my part I am not so scared anymore of this influence (if that’s what it is) since I in walking the contemplative path find much in common between the world’s religions. Still, some people are afraid that silent prayer will become a practice where you try to empty your mind from thoughts. So for some it feels safer to only practice praying with words, or meditate upon the Scripture in a Lectio-Divina-way. For others, and even for me as a Christian. there are many forms of prayer. And at times it may be similar to Hindu or Buddhist meditation, which I believe is not so much about emptying the mind, but rather a going-behind-the-thoughts and letting-go-of-thoughts.
Our minds can create beatiful pictures and thoughts, but at other times our minds delve into worry, self-defeating thougths and darkness. That’s why the truth that I-am-not-my-thinking created so much freedom in my life. This truth made me desire to go deeper, behind the thoughts, and in times of silence, to surrender myself to the deeper life of God.
Interestingly the wellknown verse in the Psalms that sometimes has been quoted “Be still, I know that I am God”, is not so much asking us directly to be silent, but rather to “let go”. So for me, these times of silence, can also be times where I let go of the thoughts created by my mind, and just open up to and surrender to the silence.
I believe that sitting in silence for a few minutes is a way of opening to a deeper experience of God’s love. I may not experience that much in the silence other than at times a kind of rest, but I believe the silence is working in me and expanding a space within me. I believe the silence may prepare me and help me to experience a deeper closeness to God throughout my day.
Sitting in silence, I believe, is another key to opening to the love of God. The silence expands and opens our hearts so we may reach within to our deepest selves beyond all thoughts, and even find God’s Spirit within. Augustin speaks of this in his Confessions when he talks about his search for God. He was searching outside himself, when God was to be found within.
So what I am trying to say, is that these keys that I have found may also help you. Realizing what the thinking mind is and is not and spending a few minutes every day alone in silence may help you connect and open up to the life of God within. A few moments and minutes could be all that is needed for you to find your own heart. And when you do find your heart, in silence, I believe that is also where you find God. Or is it the God that finds you?
Be blessed!
Please feel free to comment and respond here and share your thoughts about keys to our and God’s heart.
Just think about it: Why is silence in a way both difficult and attractive at the same time? We say that together with a true friend we don’t have to say anything. We can be together in silence and feel good about it, yes, even nourished.
Sometimes the only thing we really need is silence. Words can become a nuisance and a disturbance. We are often not in lack of words, but more often in lack of silence and rest.
In silence we may experience acceptance. And freedom. In silence we can just be, be human beings. Being in silence together with someone can be a road to truth, and our true identity. In silence together we can find rest…and peace.
Is it not so that in silence we can also find our innermost soul? And there we can find God, the Creator of the Universe, and also our true Friend.
Why do we so often escape or struggle with silence, and still we long for it? Could it be that we don’t truly dare to believe in the Creator’s love for us? Could it also be that by escaping silence we escape “listening” to the true Word, and then we’re actually escaping the love we hunger for?
Can you hear the call to or sense the urge for silence?
Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while (Mark 6, 31a)
UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED, ALL SCRIPTURE QUOTATIONS ARE TAKEN FROM THE HOLMAN CHRISTIAN STANDARD BIBLE®, COPYRIGHT © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 BY HOLMAN BIBLE PUBLISHERS. USED BY PERMISSION. HOLMAN CHRISTIAN STANDARD BIBLE®, HOLMAN CSB®, AND HCSB® ARE FEDERALLY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF HOLMAN BIBLE PUBLISHERS.
For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them (Eph. 2:10)
In earlier posts I have written quite a bit about surrender and I have meant to convey that a surrender to silence is also a surrender to God. Since God is something and someone beyond your thoughts and feelings, and someone spiritually living deep within you, a surrender to silence is a way to tune into and “listen” to the life of God in you.
It may sound so easy, but as many of you know, being silent is for most people very difficult. Not only is it difficult to actually sit down, stop doing anything and stop talking to become just quiet. It is also difficult to really experience true silence since our minds chatter non stop.
So, in order to tune into God’s life and the walk he has planned for us, we need to get serious about surrender and serious about silence. My opinion is that through an experience of non-action and silence outside and also within we may be able to connect to our deeper ground of being, which actually is God’s Spirit within us (or you might say, God’s image in us).
Through my novice experience surrender to complete silence is not so much about stopping your thoughts, something very few people are able to do for any significant time, but it is really more about how you deal with or live with your chattering mind. It is about truly accepting, but not dwelling on, the thoughts.
I actually believe Christians can learn something from mindfulness practitioners here, when it comes to how to tackle the monkey mind. One example is to acknowledge thoughts as they appear, but then visualize them as leaves floating away upon a creek, one bye one, then disappearing. I believe that by doing this until it almost becomes a routine, thoughts become less powerful and as a result the mind also becomes quieter.
This choice of silence is not a war on thoughts, but actually an acceptance of thoughts, and at the same time it is a choosing to give less power to them. If you want more information with a Christian perspective on how to become at peace with your thoughts and praying contemplatively you may read books by Thomas Keating (ex. The Way of Christian Contemplation).
Later I will write about a book I am now only mentioning. This is a book, that can be read no matter your spiritual or religious beliefs, that truly changed my life by altering the way I related to my mind. The book is called “The Unthethered Soul” and written by Michael A. Singer. More about this in a later post.
For now the message is: By choosing and practicing silence we may be able to connect deeper. By connecting deeper and getting in touch with the often very quiet or soft-speaking Spirit in our innermost being we will able to live from the inside out. We will be walking into the world coming from a different place so to speak, we become more and more able to walk a walk already divinely prepared. Our lives become a response to God’s life in us!
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