Layers

I wonder who I am
Or what or who is the am
I sense this is a layer,
a layer on top of another
Or is my sensing about this layer,
just another layer upon a layer
I am wondering
I am pondering
What is really going on
Is this all another trickster’s play
or am I really on my way,
deeper, further, forward,
or am I going backwards
Bewildering it is
I guess, a bit amusing too
Will I ever really know
Is someone poking fun at me
Am I the big clown, again
Or am I just truly becoming,
growing through and into,
another layer,
of a deeper reality…

Fire and River

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You can be glad
Fire is great, river is strong
You know it
You know you belong
You know a deeper love
There you can let all things go
Listen to the silence
Be there
Be there
The inner calling
Now

In life you fall
You make mistakes
First you want to hide, later to be seen
Yet, you can be glad
You know you belong
The deeper love,
is what you know
In the silence
So, be there
Be
Now

Keep walking this road
Live each moment
Then let it go, as you prepare for more
You can be glad
Don’t need to believe
You know
You know
The silence tells you,
all you need
Keep going there
Be in it
Go 

 

Something Calls Me

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Something calls me to listen to some music and sit down and write. Something I do not know what is, or the depth of it. As I was taking a relaxing stretch on the floor an inner voice spoke clearly to me, get up and start writing. Start writing, start writing.

I sense this great urge, this power, this presence, this energy, this almost painful drive, to keep the creativity coming.

And I don’t know what is coming. Do I have to? No, I don’t think so. Now it is all about trust, a deep trust in life, a calling, and the presence flowing from within. This is what makes me feel very alive in this moment, this small, yet for me, significant moment of eternity.

I do not need to know it all, do not need to separate black from white, since the truth is in neither. That is what has come to me lately. What is truth? Is it black, white, conservative, progressive or whatever. And I say again, it is neither. The truth lies at another level, not separate, yet still beyond.

I sense I have found, or been found, by something profound. There is a deep process, a deep change going on. So that is why I was called to sit down and write. I cannot rest without it. And God knows, I do need rest, I do need to sleep also, because this soulful process is very impactful and takes it toll.

Still, I am not going too deep underground, I am also not rising above to celestial realms, but this “divine” wisdom is being imparted to me. I do not now know its form, I do not know where it leads. I only know and trust in the goodness of it.

Or maybe it is even beyond the category good or love, is it something all encompassing, a new totality? A new, great window to look through, a new inspiration to live by and from. Thank you, thank you, it makes me thankful. And I do believe thankfulness is a good thing. In the midst of everything, the darkness and the light, there is a way of thankfulness. So, thank you!

Okay, that’s it, it may stop here, or it may go on from here. What is the beginning, what is the end? I do not know. I only know I am curious, eager to find out, excited to be alive. It is a resurrection of the new, a revelation is coming. That I sense, that I know. And, I will let you in on a secret, it is not from me, or not even for me, alone, it is for the world to see and know. It is for you, you, they, us, we and myself. It is something to be shared.

I am closing my eyes. At times they feel tired. And my body aches. Like this is a bit too much. Am I going crazy? I sense the answer is no, and I am encouraged not to fear. This is all a gift. I am being made ready. A change is coming.

I take another deep breath. The music is singing in my ears, the rhythm is strong and felt. Something is stirring. Am I crazy, am I a fool? No, an inner voice tells me. You’re just in the waiting for transcendence. Transcendence? What is that?

It is like something has been in the preparation for a long time, it is like the dawn is about to break. A new light will reveal itself. It is not me, it is not you, but we will know it. We will know it, learn from it, love it, and be loved.

Be loved? Earlier I said this could even be beyond the usual categories of black, white, love, fear, yet maybe a bottom or a ground here still, is love. Since what can be greater than love? Maybe it is just that this love is beyond my imagination, it is stronger, greater, wider than my heart can see, be, give or share. Because, this is not me, it is not you. Yet, it is for us!

For us? Wow, how can it be for us? The song I am listening to just mentioned perfume. What a magnificent word, per-fume? A fume of what? A fume of the greatest love? I do not know, I do not know, but I open myself to it, this scent.

Please, help me, to go where I am supposed to, do what I am meant to do. My life is just a glimpse anyway, so I would like this glimpse not to be great, but to be well spent. Yes, not great, but beyond what we think we know. Oh, the world is hungry. Yes, so tired, and hungry.

You say, you are with me. I reply, and I am with You. This I know.

Turning

Another threshold
Leaving this image
Whatever is to come
You keep walking,
this pathless walk

Tiring show,
leaving a stage,
no more playing this way
Darkened lights,
still within they shine

Stepping down
Stepping back
Sitting down behind it all
An urgent yearning,
another dark burning

No other option
Want to live
Want to give
This again you leave
for another widening circle

Heart beat slows
Blindness grows
Yet in new rest you trust
Only this you must
Scales soon breaking

Light so bright revealed,
through ground cracking
A time for the thirsty soul
Diving all in,
in light air flying, trusting

You return again, all aflame now

Arms Raised

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You are planted here
Remain so while you are alive
Grow your roots deep
Let gravity hold you close

Falling,
the lying on the ground,
is not defeat,
but an act of deep listening

You live life from ground up,
drinking from darkest deep below ground

Up you will also reach with your arms raised,
held fast in your own divine embrace

Undone

I used to know everything
Now I don’t know any thing
I used to brag about this and that,
now I’m done with the fat clown

Until this day,
I’ve been lost in a darkness
I dared not admit

I wanted to live in a blaze of glory —
now I prefer the silence,
the creation,
through attentive listening

Unconvinced now of my rightness,
still thirsting for truth —
is what I know

Photo: Tove Hubak Fleischer

Got som help from ChatGPT just to structure the poem into stanzas and for some punctuation

Arrival of Beginning

I sensed a sudden shift
I felt uplifted
And I was
My eyes still shut close
I felt a warm breeze
I sensed tears filling up,
behind the eyes’ curtains

I lifted my hands,
my body still resting on knees
I heard myself saying,
no please, no please
I felt a blow to my stomach,
and breathed out one full breath

I felt strange pain
Felt lifted again, yet heavy
No please, no please,
I heard myself plead
It wasn’t me,
but something else

Eyelids now cracked open,
waves of tears flowing
Out of my control
Again I suffered another heavy blow
Yet, soon pain was lifted
Crying turned to sobbing

Steps, almost too silent to hear
A breeze again, warm
I wasn’t alone in the garden
The breeze passed me
Abruptly, I stood up
Calling the visitor back

My feet now above the ground
A presence felt all around
A warmth, comforting
Soft tears, transformed
Again, a weight pushed me to my knees

A deep knocking
My hand on my chest
A vision of veins and deep red
What had me uplifted,
now sensed within
My lips curved upwards

I whispered,
it wasn’t me,
this, wasn’t me
Yet, it, was there,
within
I lingered, silent,
there, on my knees

 

Hide

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Now I want to hide
To find refuge within
Away from words and ideas
Away from creed and certainty

I am even tired of myself
Too much out there
Not enough in here
Help me, because I have sinned

I chose image over truth
Now having seen my image,
I find I am done
I am coming home

Into myself, a place,
not crowded by words and deeds
Yet, a wide, deep, open space of You
Let me hide here, until,
You, are all there is

Blue Spark

What if there is no other agenda,
than for you to find the real You
If only you could let down,
your guard, your mask, your pretense

What if there is true love to find,
in the divine connection within
Wrapped in shadows,
yet rich in gold and truth

What if you could learn from,
secrets whispered in the dark
Your eyes were meant to see,
more than what is seen without

Can you have trust,
in a darkness glowing, silence loud
Can you take the time
Can you handle the wait

You’re in for a surprise
A surprise of luminous light
It will be a joy of the deeper kind,
which flows from rich wells within

When you give up your former walk
When you stop your reasoning, your talk
When you listen and focus
In this liminal space, you’ll find the Blue Spark

And that is when it all begins…