Now I want to hide
To find refuge within
Away from words and ideas
Away from creed and certainty
I am even tired of myself
Too much out there
Not enough in here
Help me, because I have sinned
I chose image over truth
Now having seen my image,
I find I am done
I am coming home
Into myself, a place,
not crowded by words and deeds
Yet, a wide, deep, open space of You
Let me hide here, until,
You, are all there is
What if there is no other agenda,
than for you to find the real You
If only you could let down,
your guard, your mask, your pretense
What if there is true love to find,
in the divine connection within
Wrapped in shadows,
yet rich in gold and truth
What if you could learn from,
secrets whispered in the dark
Your eyes were meant to see,
more than what is seen without
Can you have trust,
in a darkness glowing, silence loud
Can you take the time
Can you handle the wait
You’re in for a surprise
A surprise of luminous light
It will be a joy of the deeper kind,
which flows from rich wells within
When you give up your former walk
When you stop your reasoning, your talk
When you listen and focus
In this liminal space, you’ll find the Blue Spark
And that is when it all begins…
Hey you
Tired of your show
Words, words, words
Smells like an old fart
Now, tell me what you truly know
About life, pain and joy
You don’t need to set your self apart
To be above bar
Just be who you really are
Then, let’s walk into a life we share
Be with it, and not without
Ready are you now?
Nothing left to show?
Let’s go
When I saw it
Joy flood my life
Finally it was clear
I knew
Thought is thought
That is not
What I am
Then I drank
my cup
The fire within
a powerful force
Able to destroy and
to mend
My ego
in fearful tricks
tries to make it
bow
–
This fiery force
makes my ego go for
a smile
Hide the fire and
let it go
At least not let it
show
–
The fire within
my truth to live
Is not to be hid
in fear
and in illusion
There to be real
To act
In this
now
–
The strength of fire
A life meant to be
Not to be quenched
in the falseness of ego
May I hold it
gently
Refined in contemplation
flow
I am contemplating living from the center. By center I mean living from your true self as some like to call it. You may also call it the Seat of Self. It is the center were mystics of all religions and spiritual traditions meet. This center is what helps me “see” that I as a Christian have a lot in common with a Sufis and a Kabbalists. Even though there are many things I don’t know about those other traditions.
I think it is very helpful for people at different stages in their lives to truly see and find their center. This center which can be found within us, is something other than our ego, thoughts and feelings. The more we live from this center and “look out” from it, the more we realise what’s important in our lives and relationships. When we relate to ourselves in this way, it helps us accept and relate to others and the world in a calmer and more genuine and even forgiving way.
I have chosen this image above for many reasons. First of all, and reason enough in itself, was that I found it very beautiful. Secondly, I liked the way the flower was darker on its edges and brighter in the center. It works as a symbol for the spiritual life, yes even as a symbol for the human life. Living through our darkness reveals to us more and more what we need to see to truly live from our hearts, our deepest selves.
Living in the darkness of one of those flower petals can be a terrible experience. The petal is great as well, so can the dark times be. For some these darker times become dark nights of senses and the soul, as John of the Cross wrote so fervently about.
In Buddhism I believe there are expressions like bright darkness or luminous darkness. And even as a Christian I think that is a beautiful description. What seems to be the darkest of night may reveal healing truths so night is transformed into the brightest of day. After the deepest darkness there can be an experience of great light, even joy and bliss.
I believe that if more people started to practice sitting in silence or for example practice centering prayer, they would eventually find and see the beautiful truth of living from center, or living from a different center than we normally do. That is, living from our deepest Self, which is Love, instead of our ego and very often reactive feelings and thoughts.
If you were to lay aside the thoughts and feelings stirring for a few minutes in silence during your day, this may be very difficult, but yet you may also be in for a beautiful surprise. But beware, you may have to pass through long stretches of darkness, sorrow and pain, to find this bright shining Light! For the darkness is always luminous. Blessings to you on your journey!
Lost outside
Not the way
The Sacred within
Has always been
Yet also is
Let outside rest
Reach within
To find
Be found
The Sacred within
Amnesia now
Still blind
Before silence grow
Amnesia gone
Let go
Before ego show
I think the contemplative path can be a lonely road. When you are realizing that dogmas you once believed in are no longer very important and when you really see that the ego is not your most true self you (or your ego?) can experience the feeling of loss. Also the experience that people around you are not on the same page and that words are not sufficient when you try to explain makes it difficult to experience true fellowship. Yes, I truly believe that the contemplative road can be lonely.
Still, I also believe, that when you have started walking the contemplative and silent path, there is no turning back. I believe that the contemplative path is a path where you seek oneness with a God that is just as much within as without. You have moved your center from head to heart and you will never want to go back to your former understanding. You have found something that have changed your way of seeing, and you know that you are on the road to truth. And eventually truth sets free. I also believe that this, at times loney road, is a road that leads to a solitude where your heart can truly rest and truly know that all there is, is love. And now you see that you and all of creation is embraced by this Love.
A Contemplative Life 