A mystic is like an open room
An open room where experience can happen
The key to this open room is surrender in silence
Surrender to Spirit
Spirit fills this open room
The open room of a mystic
In Contemplation
I deeply desire to live with God
To be a communicator and teacher of a good and lifegiving message
I believe God sees the heart
At least I choose to believe
Discouragement and loneliness can set in
It is a fact that I am no more special
No more special for God than others
He/She who loves all and the whole of creation
The longing to be special can be traced back to my childhood
The fear and restlessness and longing from back then
What shall I do
Receive myself accept myself value myself
Then trust the road to open up
Along with each step I take
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Living From Center
I am contemplating living from the center. By center I mean living from your true self as some like to call it. You may also call it the Seat of Self. It is the center were mystics of all religions and spiritual traditions meet. This center is what helps me “see” that I as a Christian have a lot in common with a Sufis and a Kabbalists. Even though there are many things I don’t know about those other traditions.
I think it is very helpful for people at different stages in their lives to truly see and find their center. This center which can be found within us, is something other than our ego, thoughts and feelings. The more we live from this center and “look out” from it, the more we realise what’s important in our lives and relationships. When we relate to ourselves in this way, it helps us accept and relate to others and the world in a calmer and more genuine and even forgiving way.
I have chosen this image above for many reasons. First of all, and reason enough in itself, was that I found it very beautiful. Secondly, I liked the way the flower was darker on its edges and brighter in the center. It works as a symbol for the spiritual life, yes even as a symbol for the human life. Living through our darkness reveals to us more and more what we need to see to truly live from our hearts, our deepest selves.
Living in the darkness of one of those flower petals can be a terrible experience. The petal is great as well, so can the dark times be. For some these darker times become dark nights of senses and the soul, as John of the Cross wrote so fervently about.
In Buddhism I believe there are expressions like bright darkness or luminous darkness. And even as a Christian I think that is a beautiful description. What seems to be the darkest of night may reveal healing truths so night is transformed into the brightest of day. After the deepest darkness there can be an experience of great light, even joy and bliss.
I believe that if more people started to practice sitting in silence or for example practice centering prayer, they would eventually find and see the beautiful truth of living from center, or living from a different center than we normally do. That is, living from our deepest Self, which is Love, instead of our ego and very often reactive feelings and thoughts.
If you were to lay aside the thoughts and feelings stirring for a few minutes in silence during your day, this may be very difficult, but yet you may also be in for a beautiful surprise. But beware, you may have to pass through long stretches of darkness, sorrow and pain, to find this bright shining Light! For the darkness is always luminous. Blessings to you on your journey!
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Beauty of Aging
I have been thinking about aging today. In times of all plastic surgery and the desperate attempt to stay forever young, it is really wise to find the deeper truth. And realize that life is a journey, a process of change both outside and within.
The change within from ego to spirit, transforms some to be at their most beautiful when they’re bodily wrinkled and worn. To truly embrace aging, must be a profound truth.
Very often the ego fears its change of position so much, that some are not set free before they die, I guess. To contemplate and see this on this side of forever is what truly frees us while still alive and able to live our lives to the fullest.
I wonder if this is just up to people themselves to see, if they ever will see it, or whether some should sow seeds and point people in the “right” direction? I guess there are differences between teaching, preaching, guiding, counseling and showing?
I have been thinking that maybe having a voice in this world often means not words or speaking, but rather a “voice” of (spiritual) practices, walking, showing and all this that truly embodies Life from its beautiful, and even “dark” center within ourselves.
I just wished more people would or could see this reality, and be set free from illusion, so we could be ignited and united now, in a quenching of the loneliness that still grabs me/us at times living in these bodily forms and temples. Bless!
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You see
You see when life hurts a lot
You see when I grieve
Grieving over the time that has been, and that cannot come back
When I have no strength and cannot fight anymore, you carry me
That I must believe
You see when what once gave meaning and joy, does not do so anymore
What was worth spending time on before, has lost its shine
You see the pain, the pain of life
You see how the heart bursts of longing
Longing for you and for love
You see when tears come
You see when tears press on and begins flowing
You see longings, loss and pain
You see when I need to breathe
You see when something must die
You see, I am not alone
You see the way I and we should walk
You see where we started and you see where it leads
You see my face, my eyes, my soul
You see me in my innermost
You see my heart
You see when I try to explain, and others do not understand the way I walk
You see when I want to convince, but cannot
You see what no one else sees
You see the depths, you see my soul
You see the soul that wants to break boundaries and breathe in freedom
You see when life needs more nourishment through friendship, fellowship and shared thoughts and ideas
You see when one wants what is experienced as meaningful
And hopes the other can find more joy in some of it
You see when what is for freedom and peace for one, creates fear in the other one
You see the one who thinks one has got something, and the other who is afraid of losing something
To find something one must be able to lose something or embrace and at the same time include
You see it hurts when the other says one cannot follow you on the way
You see when I think I have to go alone
You see the hearts that want what’s good for others and themselves
You see the hearts in their every thing
You see and love what and who you see
Face to face you love
You see us as we are
Still you love us
You see me when I’m about to fall asleep
When another day is over and a new day soon will be welcomed
You see, so that it brings light to our hearts and souls
Your gaze can warm us when love has little room
You see everything
You see it as it is
That’s just how it is
Your gaze of love never leaves me
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Anger Transformed
Anger burn
Anger burn
Burn slowly
Within me
Anger burn
Anger burn
I need to learn
Not afraid
To be
Anger burn
Anger burn
In you is light
Freedom
Clarity
Come
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Times of Transformation
Keeping a journal can be a good thing, both as a helpful tool in your own processes and also as words and sentences to reread later, when you have moved on, and understand your writing from a new and different perspective.
In rereading my own journals I some times find nuggets of wisdom and also description of a life I later see that I have grown through.
In particularly difficult times when the road ahead is very unclear, when the struggle in a day is almost to hard to bear, that’s when I become poetic. I guess it’s because poetic language is open, there is more of of imagination and feelings than clarity of mind.
Later, in rereading some of these more poetic reflections and wanderings, I find glimpses of poems, words and sentences that now speak to me in another, deeper and also clearer way. What I earlier only got in glimpses and wrote in imaginative and poetic language, I am now more able to describe in precise prose.
The reason it’s a different experience looking back and reread old words and poems journaled in dark times, is because life now tells me I made it through. What a blessing that is, when you see that the dark times, no matter how dark they were, brought forth new light in your life! This is because the difficult days were times of transformation.
The next few poems and posts that I will share in the days to come, will be some glimpses from some of these darker times. I share them in the hope they may speak to your heart as well, since in being human we often share the same or similar experience.
It would warm my heart if you would share at times which words express something you are going through or have experienced. I would love to hear from some of my readers in the days to come. And please, if there is something in particular you find to your liking, please share the post with some of your friends. I hope the future posts will be small blessings to some people out there, in the big and often lonely world we all live in. Be blessed.
In order to experience the joy
you need to accept the sadness
In order to be filled you need
to know you are empty
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Sacred Within
Lost outside
Not the way
The Sacred within
Has always been
Yet also is
Let outside rest
Reach within
To find
Be found
The Sacred within
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Doorway of Silence
Did you know
There is a door
A doorway to the
Garden
This door is
A Doorway of Silence
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Divine Blindness
Is it not true? That there is a season for everything as the Old Book tells us? Everything is continually changing and transforming. Life is flowing in dynamical ways. And you and I and we get to partake in this eternal flow of life. It is tricky, it is sad, it is so full of grief, yet so full of longing, joy, beauty and creativity.
The winter time, in real life and spiritually too, can be a dark and cold time, a time of hiding in the quietness. Yet also, this time of coldness and dying, is a preparation, a silent growing of new lifeflow. There can be great pain in the dying which is part of a new creation.
I love the story of the prodigal son in the New Testament, particularly the phrase, ‘then he came to himself’. Dying and renewal is painful, but also a transformation into new ways of seeing. This deep dive into dark mystery can create a new sense of aliveness and a deeper joy.
But again, the grief, the pain can be very dark. It can feel like all hope is lost. You feel lost at sea, with no shore in sight. I am reminded by Paul’s blindness after the bright revelation of Jesus on the road to Damascus. He could not see for several days. But there was a divine working taking place deep within him. This was not a time for his ordinary senses, only a time for transformational blindness.
Somewhere in the prophet book of Isaiah it is said that God will tell us secrets in the dark times. Maybe in days of darkness we are divinely blinded? You may feel like you shut down for a time, but is it only for change and renewal to take hold?
Does this make sense to you? Do you believe in change and transformation? Can you trust that along with the pain there is also a rebirth of new life? Could it be that when our eyes eventually are opened we are in for a great surprise?
Blessings to you!
A Contemplative Life 