The Longing Pains Me

The longing pains me. Is it new life growing or a desire for wholeness? I thirst for His love and grace to color my life and surroundings. Fill my empty, bottomless cup. I pray and yearn, day and night. Come, heal my inner man.

Let my eyes dwell on Your goodness. I long for your touch, to drink your lifegiving water. It is painful, this hunger, it truly is. May Your Spirit quench my thirst.

Your Life within me, is my strength forever and ever. Your Love upholds me and lifts my soul. Your Grace heals my inner man and restores my broken heart. In You I find truth and rest for my soul.

Keep me Lord, surround me, embrace me in my sorrow and woundedness. Help me to be a giver of what You have given. Help me drink the cup and take the steps You ask of me. You want the whole world to know, The Christ that moves and upholds.

Christ be my life, Christ be my all. Let me see with Your eyes, each created thing and being, yes, the whole of Your creation. When everything else is burned away, be You still, the Flame burning in my heart.

Falling Upward and Living Water!

Living Water

I’ve read some very interesting books lately. I will be writing about some of them in posts to come.

One of my favourite books now is the book “Falling Upward – A Spirituality for the two Halves of Life” written by Richard Rohr, a Fransciscan priest. This book has opened my eyes to a better understanding of two different states we can be in as human beings wandering this earth.

Basically, I think a main message in the book is this: In the first half of life you need to build your ego and in a way become secure and grounded in this ego. The second half of life is about going deeper than this ego and starting to figure out more about your truest identity.

Another aspect here, as I understand Rohr, is that the person in the first half of life is more dualistic and black-and-white in his thinking. He may also be more focused on orthodoxy and dogma, which makes his faith often more exclusive. Later in life, by going through some processes that involve contemplation and also suffering, the person becomes less preoccupied with dogma, orthodoxy and also more inclusive when it comes to where truth is found. You really need to read the book to get the full understanding of what I am (/Rohr is) trying to say here. If you happen to be in your thirties or older I really recommend giving the book a chance.

The title, I think, refers to the process you have to go through to spiritually cross over to the second half of life, which involves a kind of falling. Partly this falling may involve quite a bit of suffering and emotional pain. But, in the end you will find that the road downward is actually the way up! As I see it, this can also be understood in light of what Jesus said about dying to your own self, which in my opinion can mean (among other things) that your ego has “to die” or lose importance, in order for a new and true identity (God’s image in us) to grow forth (see f.ex. Luke 9,23 and Gal. 2,20).

I truly believe that by preparing for and going through this tranformational process in life, by the grace of God, we can find a way to connect more fully to the living water that Jesus talked about to the Samarian woman, and finally find a deeper and more (ever-)lasting joy!

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